MASH Gets a Lady Doctor
by susan cousineau
Summary: This is the story of Mash and all the goings on . They lose Frank Burns and he is replaced by a woman doctor.


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Life at the Mash Unit 4077th was never a normal life, the days and the times were never

normal. How could they be? The unit was a mobile unit that was set up in Korea during

the military action in the country of South Korea. It was cold some days hot others drought

one month monsoons on the other . Then the wounded, they come in all hours of the day and

night. Men who have been out in battle with limbs and lives hanging by the thread. How could

anyone find a normal day in this kind of environment? Another thing that the people of the

unit had to think about was the fact that they could be moved at any moment for the word

MASH stood for Mobile Army Surgical Unit.

The men and women of the unit did their best to make life good for all that came there, and

the down and out would end up there more often than not. It was the place that the orphans

came for the extra food, the place where the pregnant women would come just to have a doctor

look at them if something did not seem right. It was just not a place that joy could be found

in the middle of a place some would call hell. Everyone at the unit had a story and some

came with more baggage than others. No matter who they were they were all welcome and

treated with respect.

It had been another one of those nights when the choppers had been busy bringing in the

wounded and Hawkeye and the rest of the crew had been working trying to piece all of the

broken bodies back together once in a while. The blood was everywhere and when Hawkeye

and Trapper got back to the tent that they called the swamp , he had to take off his entire

uniform. Although, he did have scrubs for the operating room, the blood had soaked through

all the way to his underwear and his boots, if they had not been waterproof would have been

bled on through the boots also. When he went to the shower tent, he saw the blood that was in

his hair and still on his chin. Hawkeye was a sight to see, it would have been funny if had not

been for it being someones blood that had nearly died that night. The man had an artery that  
had been cut and when the nurse had let go of the pressure that she was giving the wound the

blood had gone everywhere. It was not a good thing and he could have died right there. It was

everywhere and all over his face. 'The horrible things that other human beings will do other

human beings how sad'. he had thought to himself.

At this time the unit was short their priest Father Mulcahy had been to his church to try to

get some more funds for the orphans and the local children. Sometimes he would be lucky and

all of the children in the area would benefit from this trip. Everyone at the camp hoped that he

would convince the church to give the children at least a little something. The orphanage had

been originally built for forty children and now it housed almost double that amount.

Trapper John Hawkeye and Frank Burns shared a small tent in the center of the camp. It

was a small tent of ten feet by fifteen and had a small stove in the middle for the minimal heat

that it would put off on those very cold winter nights.

Trapper John was a young doctor as was Hawkeye and they tried to do their best to make

their life there the best they could. He was single such as Hawkeye tall with curly hair and

a kind face. He worked endlessly on the patients as did Hawkeye and the many nurses. Soon

after their arrival Hawkeye and Trapper had become the best of friends.

Hawkeye was a single doctor and liked to flirt and fool around with some of the nurses. He

was a playboy at all times and the nurses had to keep their eye on him. He was an exceptional

surgeon though and a true blue friend.

Trapper John was Hawkeyes best friend. He was married and had two children. He missed

his wife and children very much, and sometimes liked to have some drinks and forget his

trouble. Once in a while the drinking got a little out of hand but Hawkeye had taken care of

him during those times.

Frank Burns was a difficult man for one to like. Frank would never fit in among the other

men in the unit. It was a lonely place and although no one knew it he missed his wife and family  
He was a self centered man who rarely had anything good to say about anybody or anything.

Whenever something happened at the unit that required anything extra he would find a way to

get around it , or just completely ignore Trapper or Hawkeye. when they asked for his help. As

a consequence of these actions Frank had found himself on the wrong end of many pranks that

the guys at the swamp would pull on him. He never changed though and was just the same mean

and grumpy person that he had been when he had first came. Everyone at the unit owed him

something no matter who they were.

The only person in the camp that found him even the least bit interesting at all was the head

nurse Margaret J Houlihan.. She was what the people called a lifer, and was all army all of the

way. One day while she and the married major were busy in her tent, one of the men put over

the loud speaker the sounds of them making love together. She had earned the nickname of 'Hot

Lips" that day and would never live to live that name down. Forever was she known by that

name, even by the nurses that she so harshly ruled.

Margaret Houlihan was not that bad looking. She was about five foot five inches tall and

weighed about one hundred and forty pounds. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. She would

have been considered pretty by many, but her attitude had made it hard for the people of the

unit to like her. As for popularity Margaret Houlihan ranked second in the spot of the most

unpopular person there at the unit and she was not that far behind Frank Burns according to

some of the people stationed there.

Trapper and Hawkeye had both been in the shower when Frank came in. He was com-

plaining once again about the hours that they had worked and what a rough life he had. Frank

was a poor surgeon and if it had not been for the other doctors in the unit, some of his patients

might not have survived. He did not seem to care for the men who came into the unit. He

thought of them as just men to sew up and had no care about the mens wishes or life was once

outside of the hospital. His bedside manner was the worst that anyone had ever seen and

Hawkeye was always at his face about it. To Hawkeye a doctors bedside manner was part

of being a doctor and it was the job of the doctor to make sure that the patient felt comfortable

when they were talking to them. He just could not understand why Frank had chosen to be a

surgeon. If he did not care about his patients, why did he not become a lawyer or something

like that. He felt that it was very important that a doctor cared for their patient.

Taking a shower at the unit was useless sometimes. Because as you left the shower you

would have to walk across the road to your tent, and there were times that the mud was up to

their shins. It was useless trying to keep yourself clean and sometimes it seemed that the mud

would get into their dinners that were served in the mess tent.

Now for the food. What was supposed to be hot was cold and what should be cold was

hot. The soup was mostly hot water with very little broth and even the coffee was bad to the

taste. Many times they had either no sugar or milk for their coffee. The cook did his best

with what they were sent for rations, but it was poor. The only thing that the people knew there

at the 4077th was that even though the food was terrible, it was one hundred times worse for the

soldier out in the field. For that they were grateful. After all not only did they get three meals

a day and they had a cot to sleep on, something many of the soldiers in the field did not have.

The men in the field many times had to survive on what was in their packs and would have to

eat out of their mess kit. The food sometimes was years old, and even though the army claimed

that the food was good for twenty-five years the men and women of the camp found that hard

to believe.

But for all the misery there were the days when the mail came. All of the people in the unit

looked forward to that day. They would receive news from home and sometimes even the local

newspaper. That day was as many days had been was to be mail day and when Corporal Radar

O'Reilly made the announcement the crowd gathered outside of the office.

As each of the men and women of the unit waited for their name to be called they watched

as their friends went back to their tents to open their mail. For the most part the mail would be

shared later on, but sometimes the content of their mail would be kept unshared. Both Hawkeye

and Trapper waited their turn and headed back to the swamp once again. It had been a long night

and still neither one of them had much sleep, but they had wanted to get the mail. It had been

over three weeks since the last delivery and they were both anxious to find the news from their

families and friends back home.

For Hawkeye and Pierce the letters were the same. Life had continued on in the lives of

their family and friends while the lives of the women and men in th MASH unit had been put

on hold. It was a sad day for everyone there that did not get any mail. Perhaps they did not have

a family or the family did not know of the hard time that their friend or brother or son or daughter

were having being alone in a strange country. But. there was someone there that never seemed

to get any mail. It was a young nurse who said she had two brothers a sister and both parents

were at home. Margaret Houlihan could not understand this. She was a lovely girl, why would

her family forget about her? She looked as her nurse Amy Billings walked away once more with

no news from home. She was such a lovely girl.

Trapper John showed both Hawkeye and Frank the new pictures that he had gotten of his

little girls. They were growing up so fast and everyday that went by their memory of their daddy

got weaker and weaker. Sometimes getting the mail made a soldier more lonely and for a while

after the mail had arrived the mood at the camp would be solemn.

The commanding officer at the MASH 4077 was Colonel Henry Blake. He is a kind and

caring man and was constantly fighting for the rights of his men and women and the patients

that had come into his camp. He was in charge of the large unit and all of the supplies as they

came in and out of their lives. He knew each and every name of every soldier that had come

through the doors of the hospital, and had taken each death to heart.

He missed his wife and three children and sometimes drank too much when he got to

thinking about them. He had two daughters and a son. His son was so young that Henry

was not sure that he remembered had only been to his home in Illinois twice since

this so called police act had started . His wife had given birth to his son shortly after he had

left for Korea. His wife was his honey, but she was no good with the bills and was known

to send them to him for him to fix. It bothered him since sometimes they would not receive

the mail for as long as three months. By the time his wife would get his answers six months

could possibly go by.

Colonel Blakes right hand man was a corporal named OReilly. O Reilly was a young man

of just nineteen but he was the best aid he had ever had. Radar took heart to everyone that

entered and sent a personal note to every parents and family when the soldier did not make

it home to them. He had the uncanny ability to know when the wounded were coming and

would call out that the choppers were coming minutes before anyone else would hear them. It

was true that he did have contact over the radio with the choppers sometimes, but he would

hear them when he was anywhere in the camp. Without Radar life would be much more difficult

and the colonel appreciated his work.

Radar was a short man that looked to everyone like he could have been still a student in high

school. He came from a small farm and lived with his uncle. He still slept with his teddy bear

something that had not changed since he had come to stay with the other members of the unit.

It was just about noontime when a strange man entered the camp on that normal, or as

normal as could be day. He did not catch any of the peoples attention, he blended in well. Little  
did they know that some of their lives would be changed forever by him.

As the men were driven through the camp they saw all of the tents and their smoke coming

from the old stoves that each one of the tents had. He pulled up in front of the office and got

out. For as long as the two had been in this country they had never gotten used to the awful

mud and this place was no different. They both tried their best to clean their boots off as they

climbed the stairs to the office. As the two men entered they noted noted the name on the

office. It was Colonel Henry Blake. They entered the office and found a young man busy as his

desk working. That was the first clue that anyone had there at their small mobile hospital, that

things might be different for the duration of the time that the two men who were now inside of

the office were there for.

Corporal O'Reilly had been busy at his desk working on one of the soldiers personal items

when the two men walked in. One of the men was a full bird colonel and the man that was

with him was a second leutenant. Radar had been very busy and had not heard the

sound of the jeep as it had come into the camp and stopped here at his office. To his surprise

there was the flash of the camera and he knew that he was now being photographed by a man

who was known throughout Korea for his candid shots. He stood up and saluted the two

men and introduced himself.

Colonel Mathew Marcus worked for the army trying to get pictures that were both candid

and interesting. He wanted to get pictures of a MASH unit here in Korea for the Army Times

and with those pictures he had the great hopes that the people who were at home safe would

understand what was going on way over here over five thousand miles away in a place called

South Korea. He had with him his partner and friend Lt James Brewer.

The Colonel and his aid Lt Brewer had made it their job to catch the honesty and soul

of the men and women of the army. Colonel Marcus had begun his career back in world

war 2. He had learned from some of the best men in the business and hot gotten right out

in the middle of the battlefield many times. He had been wounded and while he was waiting

for a medic, he had ordered his picture taken. The picture had become a very famous photo

as the story had been picked up on the wire and had been published in nearly every newspaper

in the country.

Lt Brewer came from Maine like Hawkeye Pierce and had learned his skills as a photo-

grapher while taking pictures of the sea and the people surrounding it. He was young only

twenty but had been proud of his many photos that he had taken alongside his mentor Colonel

Marcus. Colonel Marcus had taught him about light and the process to develop film that he

had invented and improved the process vastly. If it had not been for the Colonel, he would not

have had the knowledge that he had today. He might have become just one of the many

photographers that were trying to be discovered by some of the magazines and papers. He

had gone to school with many men who were as good as he was that were still working behind

the scenes. He had been one of the lucky ones indeed.

When the two men entered the office of Colonel Blake, they too had caught him by surprise.

Henry was not known to stick to the rules of the army and he had his feet up on his desk and a

hat on his head with many fishing line sinkers pinned to it. When he had seen the men he had

put his legs down, but not quick enough to stop the flash of the camera that was held in Lt.

Brewers hand. "What are you up to?" he demanded. But then, Henry Blake then knew what the

two men were there from the army magazine. 'Just what this place needs two guys carrying a

pen for writing and a camera for pictures. ' Henry thought to himself. This was going to be a bad

week and he would have to be careful and stick to army regulations if he wanted to remain the

commanding officer there.

"Colonel Blake I am not here to disturb your daily routine and I of all men know what life can

be like here in the swamps of Korea. The place can be hell and if there is a moment available for

you to enjoy the time here, you should be allowed to. We are here to take pictures not judge you

or any of the men and women in the MASH unit do not want to disrupt anything at all

if it is possible. My name is Colonel Marcus and this is my assistant Lt. Brewer." and with that

he took out his hand and the three men shook hands cordially.

"You will find every type of person here just like you would find in any community sir. There

are the doctors the nurses the orderlies the cooks and then you have the chopper pilots and the

drivers and mechanics. We all live together in very small cold and clammy tents. We share what

little we have with each other and try to make the best of this bad situation. There are personal

here from private to Lt Colonel and we have both men and women. I believe that you will find

most of them cooperative and friendly. You may take all the pictures you wish, however, in

the operating room you must have the permission of the doctor to take any photos and you can

only go into the operating room in full surgical cloth including a mask for your face. Is that

all right with you?" he asked. He knew that the man out ranked him, but he needed to set the

rules right up front and he hoped that the men would cooperate with him.

"That sounds good to me. We will honor your requests. We are looking forward to an

interesting week." the Colonel promised him.

"Radar they are going to need a complete tent for their work and a place to stay." Colonel

Blake told him.

"Already on it, sir. Major Houlihan is going to be moving in with the nurses for the time that

Colonel Marcus and Lt. Brewer are here." Radar answered quickly. "Her tent is the only tent

that is available right now and they can use it for film developing too."

With that Colonel Blake smiled and told the men. "Your tent will be ready very soon. Take

a seat. You need not leave right now. It will take our major a moment or two to get moved. She

is a lady and some of those nurses have so many things make up and all. She will be done in a

short time anyhow.

"If you do not mind Colonel we would like to go about the camp and check things out. There

is much going on at this time and soon everyone in camp will know who we are and what we are

here for. It has been my experience that once the members of a unit find out who I am and what

I am doing here the attitudes change and the honesty tends to disappear." the Colonel told him.

It is not that the people are bad it is that if there is a camera and a reporter around they put up all

of their defenses, and I like it when the people are more comfortable and acting like themselves."

"No you are welcome to walk anywhere on the compound as long as you do not interfere with

any of their jobs or work. Radar will come and get you when the tent is ready." Colonel Blake

told him and with that the two men left. The weather was starting to get a little chilly and fall

was in the air. There had been a recent rain and the mud was everywhere. Colonel Marcus had

some concerns for the patients who came and went out of the unit. How would the people at this

unit ever keep the mud away from them? The two men had seen these MASH units before and

they were always pleasantly surprised by the treatment that the patients received.

The dining tent was busy with the gossip of the two men who were going to be going around

taking their pictures and when the two men entered all eyes were on them. Lt Brewer took some

pictures of the men and women eating with extra emphasis on the food that was being served.

For all the bad publicity that the army got about their food, the army was proud of the food that

they served and although the men and woman grumbled about it, they survived and thrived on

the meals that they were provided. Neither one of the men had ever seen a company where the

men and women looked hungry. For the most part the men and women of the mobile units

looked healthy to him.

As the two men walked through the compound they came across a tent with the word

Swamp on the door. They took a photo of the tent and wondered about the three men that

occupied the tent. They could tell that the tent belonged to the doctors that had been assigned

to the unit. He also knew that the unit had been short a surgeon for some time now and he

had hoped that his influence would get them the surgeon that they so desperately needed. But

getting any doctor to work at a MASH unit was a challenge. The work was hard and a doctor

could be working fifteen hours a day sometimes.

The two men knocked on the door and found no one there. They would return later to

talk and photo the men that inhabited the place that they now called the swamp. :

There were many people all walking around doing their daily chores when the announce-

ment came over the PA telling them that there were incoming choppers. Lt. Brewer stood

in the middle of the roadway and took pictures of the men and women as they ran to the

choppers and ran to the hospital tent. Everyone seemed to know where they were going and

what their job was. It was fast and furious but somehow it was smooth and quick. They had

a triage unit all set up and the nurses quickly worked to chose which of the wounded would

go first and which of them that could wait. The decisions made at that point of the medical

care could make the decision where one would live and one might die.

The two men stayed as far away as they both could , but close enough to hear the words

of the nurses and the doctors and take pictures of some of the patients as they received the

much needed services.

Colonel Marcus had seen two men run into the tent that they called the Swamp and watched

as they ran towards the hospital tent getting ready to perform surgery. About three minutes later

a man walked into the Swamp and took us a few items and waked over to the hospital himself.

That was the kind of behavior that Colonel Marcus had never been able to understand. This

man a doctor of all things, was not in any hurry to help anyone of his patients of that he was

sure. He would find out the name of that man and see to it that the MASH unit would rid them-

selves of him and get someone in there that actually cared. In a world where one had to live

with death on a daily basis the love of life was all that all of the people needed. No one at

any unit should not have anyone that could not do his part. The unit was always short on help

supplies and moral and to have one of the team not do his part just meant that the rest of the

people would have to do their job for them. There was no room for anyone like that anywhere

in this horrible place. But he could think of some places that this man could be sent to that

were even worse than a MASH unit. He could be sent to work in a prison where some of the

prisoners were on death row and others were dying of diseases from their lifestyles. Some

of the doctors at those places had been attacked by the patients. It was the kind of place that

he would like to see a surgeon such as the man that he had just seen assigned.

Lt. Brewer took many photos and stood on. The two men stood on their feet for hours

working right alongside of the nurses and the orderlies helping with the care of the wounded

when needed. They both knew that it was their duty as a human being to help out with things

around the unit and worked as hard as anyone that day. The wounded were not cared for and

done with surgery seven hours later. Lt Brewer and Colonel Marcus continued to take photos

and notes for the news well after everyone had completed their job. When all was done the two

men went into their tent and fell asleep on the cot that they had been provided. It had been a long  
day for them but they both knew that for the wounded the day had been much worse. It was easy

for someone to feel sorry for themselves while they were stationed here, but the members of the

MASH unit needed to put the patients first.

Hawkeye and Trapper came into their tent exhausted. They had both done surgery on over

ten patients that day and had both lost one man on the table. They did not have the know how

to save everyone and it had become part of their lives to accept this. It was not good for them to

lose someone but it could not be helped always.

Frank came wondering into the tent about ten minutes later. He had been behind the hospital

tent making out with Major Houlihan and was now whining about how she was being housed in

the nurses quarters because of the men who were here to take pictures and write a story about

their life here.. "What a waste of time. No one cares what happens here. I need to go home

and be with my family." he whined once again.

Whenever Frank mentioned his wife and family Trapper wanted to punch him. He was not

faithful to his wife at all. Frank and Major Houlihan had been the talk of the camp since he had

been there. Frank, who as not that had looking had not been faithful to his wife and family ever.

Word had been around camp that Frank had married into money and that he had only become a

doctor because of his wife's family influence.

"Welcome to the world of the MASH 4077." Hawkeye told him.

With that Frank grumbled something and climbed into his bed. He wanted nothing to do

with his two roommates. He was there and he had no choice in the matter but he did not have

to join in any of their silly games.

Hawkeye and Trapper sat down and took a couple of drinks from their home mad still and

relaxed for a few moments. They were both too keeled up to go to bed. After seven hours

of standing on their feet you would think that sleep would overcome them but sometimes

you could not go to bed as soon as you got a chance, but it was not the way always. Finally

after about twenty minutes later sleep did takeover and the two left their drinks on the table

and climbed into bed.

When the two friends Hawkeye and Pierce woke it was nearly four pm in the afternoon.

Now they were hungry and wanted to meet the two men who were here to take pictures. Both

of the men had ideas on what they thought that the general public should see. They knew that

these men were good at taking honest pictures, pictures of things as they are, not as the news-

papers and television shows would want them to see it.

The two men got up and dressed and headed to the mess tent for a much needed cup of

coffee. It was there that the buzz was still going on about the famous newspaper man and

his photographer. Many of the nurses had done their hair special and all of the men in the

room were in clean clothes, It was truly the first time that Hawkeye or his friend Trapper

had ever seen such a clean mess hall. For today the coffee was hot and so was the soup that

they were served. "I wish that those guys came here everyday, the food is almost edible today."

Hawkeye joked as he ate his meal.

Frank Burns came in with his usual demeanor and complained about everything once

again. This time the fact that the two men that were there on a visit were in the shower when he

had gotten there and he did not think that it was fair that he had to share the officers shower

with them because they were just visiting. They had not been assigned to the unit.

It was there at the mess tent that Hawkeye and Trapper got to meet the two men who

had caused such noise here at their small town called the MASH 4077th. Colonel Marcus

was a tall man in his forties with a deep baritone voice. His partner was a much younger

man named James Brewer. He had seen some of their work in the Army magazine and

had been quite impressed with their work. Nearly every issue had been filled with pictures

of soldiers in and off of the field, entering into combat, coming back from combat, wounded

you name it they did get the people to know the real story. War was not a game it was for

real and men died in Korea.

"I have been very impressed with the work that the two of you have done with this police

action as they call it here in South Korea. I have an idea, why don't you and your partner

follow Trapper and me around for a day? We would let you know everything that we do

and if we have wounded arrive you can stay with me and Lt Brewer can stay with Trapper

John and you will see what the men are going through when they are out in combat. It will

be a no holes barred take on the day of two surgeons here at a MASH unit in South Korea."

Hawkeye proposed to the Colonel.

"That is a unique idea and one that I would like to go over with my business partner. If

he agrees to it and we can do that tomorrow would be a good day. I will let you know this

evening." Hawkeye promised him.

That evening there was the movie another movie starring John Wayne. It seemed that

every time the unit got a movie to watch it starred either Jimmy Stewart or John Wayne. The

members of the MASH unit would like to see something a little different once in a while. For

them to watch John Wayne save the United States from the nazis was a scam. John Wayne had

used his political pull to stay out of the war. When other men had been drafted, John Wayne

had stayed in the United States safe and clean. It was true that he was nearly too old for the

war but he was not too old until much later. The war was nearly over when he reached the age

limit that the government had put on all of the other men in the country. Jimmy Stewart had at

least served with the army air corps and been a pilot. At least with Jimmy Stewart he was

portraying a man that could have been him. But to watch the same movies over and over

was starting to get to the men and women.

After the show Hawkeye and Trapper John headed back to their swamp. They helped

themselves to a drink and sat down to relax. Frank was not there and the two of them were

overjoyed by the prospect that. Perhaps Frank and hot lips had found a place to go and would

be gone for the next few hours, perhaps they would be gone for the evening. There had been

many nights when Hot Lips had her own tent that Frank had spent the night with her. He did

not care and either did Trapper or Hawkeye.

Soon both of their hopes were dashed as Trapper and Hawkeye heard the sounds of Frank

and hot lips coming toward his tent and were talking with Colonel Marcus. "We think that it

would be very beneficial for you to record a day in a doctors life here at the MASH 4077th , but

Frank is the ranking physician and it would not be right to have him not spotlighted. Both of

the doctors Haawkeye Pierce and Trapper John are capable doctors but they are both under \

Franks watchful eye. As the head nurse here at our hospital I have seen the doctors and they

are good, but Frank is the best." Major Houlihan told the Colonel.

"I will be happy to cover your work also Major. I plan to keep an eye on everyone but just

spotlighting Hawkeye and Trapper John. It was their idea and they will be shown in the major

role. Perhaps we could spend another day, perhaps the next day and focus on the nurses and

what their day was like. Would that be agreeable to you?" Marcus asked them.

At that point Margaret knew that she had no choice but to accept his proposal. She had been

seen by some of the nurses talking to the Colonel and if she said no, the nurses would make my

life a living hell. "That will be fine. I will let the girls know that both tomorrow and the day

afterward they probably will be filmed. But I will let them know that your main focus in two

days will be on them. They will appreciate that." she told him with a sigh. Frank gave her a look

but she knew that she had no choice in the matter.

When the knock came on the door Hawkeye and Trapper tried to act like they had been

busy doing something different and had not heard the conversation that had been between

Major Houlihan and Frank and the Colonel. They both knew that the Colonel was no fool

and they were sure that he knew they were listening but he probably did not care. "Come in

Come in. Our home is yours." Hawkeye told the Colonel. After the Colonel had taken a seat

Hawkeye offered him a drink.

"Thank you. I could use a drink now. I wanted to come over to your tent and let you know

that I have decided to do a day in the life of a doctor at a MASH unit tomorrow. Our day will

start at eight am if that is all right by you. Of course if you are called to go to the operating room

sometime tonight, we will start the day then." Colonel Marcus offered them.

"That sounds like a plan to us." Hawkeye smiled as he looked over at Trapper who agreed

with him whole heartedly.

It was already after ten that evening and Hawkeye and his roommate went to go to bed. As

they had just slipped under the covers Frank Burns came into the tent. "I know you guys think

that tomorrow you are going to be the star of the show, but he said that he is going to include me

in the picture, remember that." he sounded like a child who was whining about not getting to be

first at a game and so the two men in the tent smiled to themselves ignored what he said and

went to bed.

True to his word the Colonel and Lt. Brewer were at their tent promptly at eight am the

following morning. The Colonel was used to army protocol and had gotten up with the

bugle call that morning as he had for the past twenty or so years. Hawkeye and his friend

Trapper John had no set hours and could be up all hours of the day or night so they had

learned to ignore the sound of the bugle. It did not even wake them anymore.

The two men came in and started by taking pictures of the inside of the swamp where the

three men resided. Kindly neither one of them made a move toward the home made still and

therefore no pictures were taken of it. Hawkeye got dressed and headed to the mess hall. With

the camera rolling the two doctors stood in line to be handed soupy oatmeal and cold coffee. It

was now back to basics and the cook had forgotten that Hawkeye and Trapper were now going to

be the stars of the Army photographer for that day. He looked shocked as the men held the

oatmeal up for the camera.

At the 4077th there were only four cooks and they sometimes were expected to work nearly

twenty-four hours a day. They were expected to have food ready for anyone at anytime because

of the strange hours that the doctors kept. The cooks had learned long ago to grab a nap when

they could. All four of them did the best with what they got, but it was nearly impossible for

them to provide the men and women hot food. For the most part the cooks were proud of the

food that they served, and took it personally when the men made fun of the food.

The Colonel and Lt. Brewer had their breakfast at six thirty in the morning and were not in

need of any nourishment. To be friendly the two had a cup of coffee while the two doctors

ate their barely edible breakfast.

Breakfast had just barely been started when Frank and Hot Lips walked into the mess tent.

Burns looked like he had just shaved and his clothes were pressed. The Major had her hair done

and her uniform was crisp and clean also. "Oh brother." Hawkeye said as they walked into the

tent.

""Well the two of you look rather nice this morning. You are supposed to act like it is just

a normal day, not like you are going to an Easter Parade." Trapper told them with a laugh.

"Oh and by the way Frank you still have lipstick on your cheek and lips. You had better

check the mirror before Lt Brewer takes our picture and your name becomes Hot Lips not

Margarets." he told him with a laugh.

The four men watched as Frank ran out of the mess tent looking for a mirror so that he could

wipe the lipstick off of his face. "I almost wish that I had taken a picture of him and the Major

together with him and the lipstick. It could have made the cover of the magazine. Perhaps

Framks wife should have received a copy of the magazine." Lt Brewer wondered.

"You wouldn't would you?" Hawkeye asked him.

"No but it sure would be a funny thought." the leutenaant told him.

"But maybe I would." the Colonel told him with a laugh..

That was when the four men became friends and their sole duty while they were at the

compound was going to be to bug Frank Burns. Everyone knew that Frank would be showing

up at anytime. Frank had been off in the shower when Hawkeye and Trapper had gone to have

some breakfast that morning. They had laughed at Major hot lips as she ran to the shower to

tell Frank that he was missing breakfast with Colonel Marcus and Lt. Brewer. Frank had run

across the compound with a towel around his waste and had gone into the swamp to get dressed.

So in consideration of Frank breakfast had been over quickly and as Frank arrived at the mess

tent the four friends said good morning and headed back to the tent that they called the Swamp.

The look on the Major and Franks face was something that should have been photographed.

They looked as if their whole world had come crashing down as they were left alone to eat

their breakfast alone that morning.

Those men are just young doctors. You are the one with the most seniority and should have

been the doctor that was spotlighted. Tomorrow we will get our due and the magazine will have

some good photos and stories for their magazines. We shall be so interesting that the Colonel

will forget all about those guys." Major Houlihan told Frank and then patted his hand.

"It just is not fair." Frank whined.

It was then that the two of them noticed the others in the mess were listening to them so

Major Houlihan whispered to Frank, "If we do everything the way we planned it, the

Colonel will forget all about the pictures of the other people here at the MASH 4077th."

Frank looked at her and smiled. Margaret always had a way of making him feel better

and he knew that she was right.

Once the four men were seated in the swamp, Hawkeye and Trapper were told to go about

their daily business, so they both took out the new medical books that they had received. In

one of the new books was a new procedure that was hopefully going to save some of the young

men who came to their hospital with badly injured limbs. This was the kind of reading that both  
doctors took very seriously and they read for the entire hour until Frank Burns came into the

tent. Frank did not do much reading, he thought that the new procedures were meant for larger

hospitals not a unit such as theirs. Both of the doctors knew that there had been many times

that if they had known of these procedures they might have saved a limb, or their patient might

have retained more of the use of the limb later in live.

Frank walked into the tent and saw the two doctors reading the medical journal. He also

noted that the Colonel and his assistant were busy working on some of the pictures that they

had recently had developed. The atmosphere was quiet and the men seemed to be quite

comfortable working together. Frank did not want to be left out, so he took out one of his

own medical journal and took a seat on his cot. He then began to act as though he too was

studying the medical procedures, but in reality he was just making it look that way. Colonel

Marcus was no fool and knew exactly what the man was up to. Marcus was surprised that

the major did not have the book upside down. For all the studying that the man was doing

it would not have made a difference.

After about another hour of the men working silently together both Colonel Marcus and

LtBrewer stood up and stretched. They had been working on the photos most of the morning

and they both needed a good stretch. The people in the tent seemed to take it as a sign and all

five of the men were soon stretching and getting ready to have their lunch.

Once more the men found themselves in the mess tent eating cold soup and cold coffee.

They had just taken their seats and had started to take a bite to eat. Colonel Marcus had been

a little disappointed that it had been such a slow day. He did not know that Hawkeye Pierce was

thinking the same thing.

It had been a quiet day and Hawkeye knew that it was not going to be quiet for long. There

never was a three day period where they got no wounded into the unit and this was day two. The

men had just stepped out of the tent when Radar announced that there was going to be incoming

wounded. Both Trapper and Hawkeye dropped their food and ran over to the swamp to pick

up their things.

Only a very few moments had gone by when the ambulance came with the maimed bodies of

several young men. Some of the men were not going to live to see another day, as there had been

a mine explosion on one of the trucks that had been carrying the men into town. They had been

on their way to a night on the town when the truck had hit the mine. Three of the men were

killed instantly and four of the men were extremely critical.

As Major Houlihan hurried to get to the hospital tent, she waved to one of her best nurses

and asked her to please start the triage. The unit was short on blood and she did not know how

much blood they were going to need that day. Everyone in the unit had donated their own

blood to the point where it was no longer an option with some of them. But when she ran into

a man with AB negative blood she knew that she was going to have to ask the young man who

had just come to the camp two weeks ago as a cook to donate some of his blood. This was

a rarer type of blood and the only two men who had that type of blood in the MASH unit

had already donated their blood twice this month. It put a huge strain on a persons kidneys

and the two men could not donate for at least another two weeks.

The Major had not noticed the man that was standing behind her and when she stood back

she nearly tripped over her. It was Lt Brewer and he was taking pictures of the wounded. She

looked at the healthy young man and thought 'I wonder what type of blood he has". I am sorry

to have to ask you this but what is your blood type?

"My blood type is a rarer type AB negative. Why do you ask?" Lt. Brewer asked her.

"I am sorry to have to ask you but we are very short on that type of blood and this soldier is

going to need some fresh blood. Would you be willing to donate a pint of blood for the cause?"

she asked him as nicely as she could.

There was no hesitation in his voice and he told her "It would be an honor to donate my

blood to an injured soldier. Show me the way to the place where I can donate some of my

much needed juice." he replied with a smile.

"I am also sorry to have to ask you another favor. The man in the mess hall the new young

man named Davis has the same type of blood that you have. Could you please ask him to come

over to the hospital tent for me also? This man is in poor condition and is going to need much

more blood than we have in stock. He will need to be operated on soon." the Major asked him.

"Lt. Brewer smiled at the Major and headed to the mess tent. It was there that he asked for

Davis. Davis walked over to him and asked "How may I help you?"

"We have a man in the hospital that is going to need some of our blood today I am afraid. We

have been asked to go to the hospital tent and give some of our blood so a young man who has

wounded can have the operation that he needs to save his life." Lt Brewer informed him.

"I am on my way with you sir. The men told me that when there was a need for my blood

they would come and get it. I was told that I could donate my blood and the unit would keep

it in stock for when it was needed. I did not realize that my blood would be needed so soon.

I do not understand why there is not enough blood for the wounded. It is not a good situation

and if you or I ever get hurt we might not be able to get the blood we need. You should put all

of that in your magazine. It would help out the men from all the other units." he told the young

man.

The two men went to the hospital tent and they were directed to a curtained off room and

taken to a cot where their blood would be drawn. Even though they were apart from the main

operating room, as they gave the blood they could hear the talk in the operating room. They

heard the young man of eighteen who would lose his life on that table and of the younger man,

the one that had just turned eighteen who could lose his leg. Lt Brewer hoped that the medical

journals that the men had been reading would help the doctors determine the best way to save

his leg. He thought to himself here I am lying on a cot worrying that I might feel dizzy when

I get up and a young man close to my own age has just lost his fight and had died from his

injury. The world just was not fair.

In the meantime Colonel Marcus had been busy keeping notes on the happenings there

at the operating room. The lights were flickering all through the procedures because of the

huge drain on the generator. The unit desperately needed more generators, and so that was

also noted. All three doctors worked tirelessly to save the injured and the head of the unit

Colonel Blake worked right along side of him. To Colonel Marcus all of the doctors appeared

to be competent and each worked very hard and long at their job. Colonel Marcus found

himself admiring the work of this unit.

Colonel Marcus had once again taken up the camera that had once been his favorite tool

in the news business. He had stopped being a photographer after world war two and had

become a straight journalist. He had taken several photos that day including the man who

had lost his life that day. The blood and the guts that he saw there at the hospital would

have made most of the people that he knew that worked in the news business sick to their

stomach. War was cruel and had not been reported correctly for years. The people back

in the states needed to know some of the horrors of the war. That was the only way that

peace would ever become a reality.

The doctors worked through most of the afternoon and had not finished until after seven

that night. They were all tired and hungry as they had missed the lunch and were once again

late for dinner. The food would be cold but it would fill the pit in their stomach, for they had

missed both their lunch and supper. This was something that happened more often than

not. but to their credit one of the cooks was always at the mess hall twenty-four hours a day.

The men knew that the cooks did their best to make the food good. But they were not given

the things that they needed to cook the food properly. There were times that Pierce and

Trapper felt sorry for the men that did the cooking night and day. Someday they both had

vowed they would thank the cooks for their tireless work.

There were more photos and Colonel Marcus put up with the whining and crying of Frank

Burns. They did not like the man at all, but he was a fair surgeon and had saved many lives on

that afternoon. Burns was a fool but a much needed fool there at this MASH unit , without

his surgical skills many men would die. Colonel Marcu s thought to himself that he would

see to it that Burns would stay at the unit until a suitable replacement could be found. Burns did

his job, not the best job that he could do though and that was not acceptable.

Once again the surgeons left the operating room and made their way to the showers. It

had been another long day and they were hungry. But, first they needed to shower and change

into their regular clothes. It was a little past eight that night when the surgeons and their news

men went into the mess hall for one last taste of the dinner. The food would be cold and

tasteless. None of the group was looking forward to the dinner that night.

As always Frank would disappear about this time every night. Usually he would go to to

Major Houlihans tent to enjoy the night in the sack. Their loud sexual activities were well

known to all that ever journeyed into the compound. Margaret was a lifer and would stay

in the army until she retired. Frank on the other hand was married with children of his

own and used the Major to keep his male ego up.

Hawkeye and Trapper were sure that the two lovers were some place hiding and making

their never ending fools of themselves. But tomorrow was to the day that Colonel Marcus

and Lt. Brewer were going to be following the two lovers for the entire day. Hawkeye was

positive that the paper was going to get an ear and eye full from the two of those useless

members of the MASH unit.

Hawkeye and Trapper John headed back to get some sleep. It was now approaching ten

pm . They had both had a long day and were very tired. The Colonel and Lt Brewer had

both been very professional and the day had gone well.

It was then that Hawkeye and Trapper decided that they were going to go and find out where

their friend Frank Burns had gone. They knew that when hot lips had her own tent she and

Frank went there, but with the Major being forced to give up her tent for the week, they would

have to find a different place.

Colonel Henry Blake had been quite happy with the way that things had been going in the

MASH unit during the stay of the two newsmen. Hawkeye and Trapper had actually behaved

and had not pulled any pranks on his least favorite doctor Frank Burns and Franks ever lasting

buddy Major Houlihan. The two of them had been a thorn in his side since he had taken the

command of the unit. Frank had thought that he should have become the commanding officer,

as he had taken the role in between him and the man that he had replaced. The Major and Burns

had made life miserable for the first few weeks that he had been there. But, he ;had learned to

take them with a grain of salt and he now ignored them. But his thoughts came too early for

trouble was to be just minutes down the road.

Everyone at the camp had been expecting something to happen on that day and had been

very disappointed to learn that it appeared that Trapper and Hawkeye had kept themselves

very professional and the day had turned out to be a dull one . They also did not know how

wrong they could be. For things were to get very lively here at the small camp that they had

come to know as the MASH 4077th, and there was never a dull day there.

Hawkeye and Trapper were to have the newsmen with them for just a few more hours, so it

was at midnight that they wanted to make their move. You see at midnight Colonel Marcus

and Lt Brewer were supposed to be covering the nurses. But old hot lips and Major Burns had

their own ideas on what the two men should be covering. They were going to be the stars of

this show and the two of them were going to make sure of that. That was when Hawkeye and

Trapper decided to make their wishes come true. They would be the star of the magazine but

not the kind of stars that the two of them had in mind.

Hawkeye and his buddy and the two newsmen were walking around the compound very

quietly trying not to be noticed but sure enough Radar spotted them and asked "What are

you guys up to now? You would not be looking for the two Majors would you? He said

with a smile.

"You know that we are. Do you have any idea where the two saviors are? I mean do you

know where the two Majors might be hiding this evening?" Trapper asked him with a smirk.

"Well, I was just coming from the office a few minutes ago and I heard Frank Burns voice

and then I heard Major Houlihans voice too. The voices were coming from behind the showers.

I am sure that they are still there because they were talking about what they were going to do

tomorrow when they were being followed by the Colonel here. They were making big plans too.

If they have their way they will be the only people mentioned in the big article that they are sure

was going to be in the Army Journal." Radar told them.

"Well stick around there could be quite the show here in a few minutes." Hawkeye told them.

"We actually ahve plans to make them the stars for next months issue. We have come up with a

good idea."

With that Hawkeye decided the best place for them to start was in the nurses quarters. The

men found one of the nurses and asked them all to get decent because there was going to be four

men in the tent in five minutes.

Nancy the nurse was well aware of the fun that Hawkeye and Trapper liked to have with both

their Major Houlihan, and Dr. Burns. She could not wait to see what kind of trick that the two of

them had in mind that night. She noticed that the Colonel and his partner had their cameras. '

'This is going to be a good one' she thought to herself.

Nancy then walked into the nurses tent and yelled at the top of her lungs. ""Hawkeye

Trapper and the two news men are going to be in this tent in five minutes. Get dressed or

put something on that will cover you." she laughed as she looked at the nurses. Most of them

had cold cream on their faces and their hair was all up in rollers. They had thought that the

fun was not going to begin until morning. But when Hawkeye and Trapper got an idea no one

ever knew what was going to happen. All of the nurses could not wait to see what was going

to happen.. Even in their robes and slippers they knew that it was going to be fun. Of course

they would have to walk through the mud but they were all sure that it was going to be fun

and well worth the trouble of redoing their shoes for the next day.

By this time the word had gotten around to almost everyone in the camp. Everyone had

some kind of beef with the two Majors. The couple had mad many enemies through the months

and this was a chance for them to get even, maybe with the help of two news people.

Hawkeye was sure that some of the nurses were going to be happy to assist with the prank that

and Trapper had been planning, but was pleasantly surprised to see that everyone of the nurses

had agreed to participate this was going to be a good one. What a group the nurses made even

the prettiest of the nurses would scare a young man. With their hair up iin rollers and cold cream

on their face they were quite a scarey sight.

As the rather large group exited the nurses tent Hawkeye held his finger up to his mouth to

ask them to be as quiet as possible. What a sight the group was making. Twenty plus nurses

with cold cream rollers robes slippers and everything on that was supposed to make them more

beautiful for the cameras that would be flashing all the next day. The sight would have made a

great picture for that magazine. Life at the MASH unit at night. What a headline that would

make.

As the group reached the mess tent the group had grown to nearly forty and if they could pull

it off the two of them would be humiliated and perhaps the magazine could get some very

interesting photos.

Hawkeye made his way around the showers and saw that the two Majors were busy planning

the next day and that both of them did not notice the two men coming around the back of the

showers. He then waved them over quietly. Each and everyone of them went around either side

of the tent and some of them went on into the shower. From there they could be in on the

surprise without being seen. Lt Brewer had managed to come around the back where from

that location he could take the best picture and also from that spot he would be able to give the

two lovers the biggest surprise.

All of the people stood silently watching for the right time. For if the prank was going

to work it must be timed well. They would wait until the two got into a compromised

position and at that time they were going to yell surprise when the flash of the camera is seen.

So they waited and listened. Frank was bragging about how he had fixed it so he and his

partner were going to get all the important patients that day and that he was going to keep

the best nurses only in the film. The girls that had ever challenged either one of them would

be cut out of any pictures. Hot Lips would make sure of it.

"It is almost midnight now. We must get ready to leave so that we will both be ready when

Colonel Marcus and his assistant arrive to take picture and write the story about life here at the

4077th.:" Margaret told her partner Frank.

It was then that the two lovers put their arms around each other and started to kiss. With the

speed of a speeding bullet Lt Brewer flashed the light of his camera. He now had the picture of

his career. When the flash had gone off all of the members of the 4077th yelled "Surprise"

As the two lovers tried to get away the crowd cheered and laughed. Meanwhile the camera

kept on flashing and the pictures would be on the walls of many of the tents until the MASH

unit finally pulled out of the war.

The two Majors looked quite funny trying to pull all their clothes back to the state that they

were intended to be in. They had not been caught indecent or anything, but their hair was a mess

and their clothes were all wrinkled. Frank was covered with Margarets lipstick and they were

quite a site. Then the piece of resistance happened, It could not have been planned, it just

happened and Lt Brewer the professional photographer was ready for another picture. The

two Majors were trying to get away from the crowd who were poking and laughing at

them when Frank slipped, it was all muddy and he went down with a splash. Unfortunately

for Major Houlihan he had been holding onto her and she had gone down with him. The

camera was there for it all. It was quite a sight to see Burns and Houlihan sitting in a huge

puddle trying to get up and slipping back into the mud. It must have taken the two fools

three minutes to finally get up and run back to their bunks in total humiliation.

For the rest of the 4077th it was the day that they all had waited for. Everyone there

had been the unfair target of the two Majors. This was what the two needed, and what

the two deserved. They could only hope that at least one of the pictures would make the

magazine next issue. Finally they had been able to knock the two of them down a peg

or two.

Meanwhile Colonel Blake had just stepped out of his tent when he saw the mob standing

around the muddy puddle and had the displeasure, or pleasure of seeing the two Majors

falling over and over in the deep ruttted muddy puddle. He had to join in on the laughter.

He knew that it was not right but the two of them looked so funny and the camera kept flashing

over and over. He could not wait to see the pictures himself.

When all as over Colonel Marcus Lt Brewer and Hawkeye and Trapper John all went to the

tent that they would call the swamp. Burns was over in the corner trying to clean off his feet

but what he really needed was a shower. What a sight, he was covered with mud from head to

toe and all of his clothes were in desperate need of cleaning. "You you, the two of you are in on

this. How could you do this to a fellow officer?" Frank whined as he headed to the showers.

The four men shook hands and had a good laugh. "We will be in for unforgettable day with

those two, but perhaps we knocked them down one or two pegs. Oh and the pictures will be

ready for viewing sometime tomorrow. " Colonel Marcus told them as he walked out of the

door with his partner.

The night turned out to be a quiet one, and the men of the swamp, not including Frank

Burns slept well that night. The nurses had gone to bed and had tried to act like nothing

had happened that night. Some of them felt sort of sorry for Major Houlihan , but most of the

nurses knew that the Major had deserved what she had gotten. Most of them lay in their cot

secretly laughing at the Major as she hobbled to the back of the room, where she kept

the curtain up for privacy.

The next morning the nurses all got out of bed at the sound of the bugle and had started to get

ready for the busy day ahead. It was Thursday and the new blood always came on that day. All

of the blood and medicine would have to be counted and put away. With the patients that were

now at the hospital and the arrival of supplies and blood the nurses would be busy. To top it off

the two men from the magazine would be there taking their pictures. There would be no time

for games today, but tonight perhaps there could be time for an encore performance .

Major Houlihan got up that morning and looked in the mirror. She was now in her middle

thirties had been in the army almost twenty years and had almost nothing to show for it. Why

did she allow Frank to take advantage of her like he did? He was a nothing, and to top it off he

was married. Soon he would leave the 4077th and would go back to a lucrative career as a

surgeon and she would still be in the army. She would have no husband no children and be

stuck in a place such as this. She needed to make a much needed change in her life.

From that moment on Margaret Houlihan was going to be the respectable nurse that she could

be and she was no longer going to have anything to do with Frank Burns unless it was about

something professional. No more Hot Lips, she was going to be the good nurse that she was and

as for Frank he would keep doing his work until it was time for him to return back to the states.

She was sure that he would be fine. He was the type of person that would survive anything and

would probably find a new girl quickly. She was going to tell Frank that morning and frankly

she did not care if anyone else heard her. That was going to be the last time.

The Major walked out to the open area which the nurses all shared together and was greeted

with the usual silence. She knew that the nurses were mostly friendly to everyone but her. There

was one girl named Donna who had been semi-friendly to her and she thought that she would

start here with Donna. Major Houlihan never had a problem buttoning her shirt in the back, but

this morning she came over to Donna and in the nicest voice said "Could you please help me?

I am having trouble with my back button?"

Donna was surprised by the question, but smiled and said "No problem Major."

It was getting near the time that Colonel Marcus and his assistant Lt Brewer should be

coming and the girls were very busy. They all wanted to look the best and of course the room

squeaky clean. She could see by the look of the room that if she had taken out a white glove

and run it along the window frames the hand would have come back clean. The girls had done a

very good job of cleaning "I want to congratulate all of you on the condition of the barracks. It

is in pristine condition. Thank you all." she told them with the kindest of sound.

As she walked back to the part of the barracks that had been enclosed for her the Major

could feel all of the eyes on her. She knew that they were all wondering what she was up

to. It would take time for them to trust her, she had been too rough for too long.

Right on time at exactly eight am Colonel Marcus and Lt Brewer knocked on the door to the

nurses quarters. Major Houlihan met them both warmly and introduced each one of them

individually. With each introduction Colonel Marcus saluted the girls and the Lt Brewer shook

their hands. All of the nurses were of the same rank as Lt. Brewer, so they felt much more

comfortable around him. Not only that but he was more their age and also was not married.

Each one of the girls thought of him as a possible catch, and the Major knew it.

As the nurses walked to the mess tent for their breakfast they talked lively to the two men

who were there to document what a day in the life of a nurse in a MASH unit was like. All

of the nurses were polite and the Major was surprised to find out how nice a group of nurses

that she truly had. She had been so wrapped up in her life that she had missed communicating

with her nurses. That was not acceptable and that was going to change.

The truck that carried their much needed supplies arrived around ten that morning and all

of the nurses took to their jobs. Each nurse knew what she was to do and did it without being

told. Each and every piece of equipment that came into the compound had to be accounted for

and put in its proper place. Lt Brewer took many pictures and Colonel Marcus asked many

questions. Each of the nurses answered the questions and politely .

Frank Burns had been at the swamp waiting for his friend Major Houlihan to ask him to come

over to the hospital but she did not come. He was walking the floor of the tent back and forth

and then back and forth again. He bit his nails and kept looking out the door of his tent, but she

did not come and get him.

"Frank you are putting a rut in the dirt on the floor. Will you please stop pacing back and

forth? Go to the Major for gods sakes." Hawkeye told him.

"Oh you don't know what you are talking about. She will let me know when the time is right

for me to come." Burns nearly cried to them. He was cold tired and still could feel the mud on

him from the night before when he and the Major had fallen into the mud puddle. "You wait I

am going to write a letter and you will be in a lot of trouble. Trust me. Major Houlihan and I are

going to make you pay for last night if it is the last thing that we do."

"Oh Frank go to hot lips and try to steal the show. You will never top the photos that Lr

Brewer last night and if I were you I would not want those pictures in the journal or any other

paper that your wife or family might see." Hawkeye told him.

"What now you think that you might try blackmailing me? It will not work, my family will

not listen to your rantings. So there" and with that he walked out of the tent, but as he left

he stuck his tongue out at his two roommates.

Both Hawkeye and Trapper John laughed at him as he left. They both knew that he had

married his wife because of her money, and that he had big plans to make a lot of money

once he returned to his hometown. But he was an idiot and there was a chance that the town

would not accept him as he thought they would. Karma that is what he needed a good dose

of Karma.

It was time for the doctors to make their rounds and check on all of the patients. Hawkeye

was very concerned about the man who had almost lost his leg. So far the leg was doing all

right but the doctor knew that it could turn gangrene very quickly. Hawkeye had done all

he could for the young man, and had assigned a nurse to take special care with him.

As Hawkeye and Trapper John walked into the hospital they noticed that their

roommate Frank was following his little friend Major Houlihan all around the room

but she seemed to be trying to ignore him. They watched as he nearly begged her to

take a look at him, and how the Major seemed to be showing the two newsmen things

around the small hospital through a nurses eye not Burns. Oh they must be imagining it the

major had eyes for only Burns and that was the way it had always been.

The whole time that Burns was in the room he did nothing but whine, and although there

were times that he was not a good doctor. This time he was a blubbering fool. "Margaret, what

is wrong? What have I done? Why won't you speak to me?" he begged her as he followed her

every step. Even Trapper and Hawkeye were beginning to feel sorry for him he was a sorry

sight to see for sure..

Colonel Blake allowed all kinds of pranks and games when the men were done with their

much needed jobs, but when it came to work he expected it to be done without question. Burns

was pulling his patience and getting dangerously close to be spoken to. He had not looked at or

talked to anyone of his patients yet and he had been in the hospital for over an hour. Keeping

a keen eye on his patients was as important a job for the Major as the surgery. There were times

that patients needed further surgery, and sometimes the doctors would catch an infection before

it spread too far. The hospital dealt with many wounds that had been exposed to all kinds of

things that could cause infections before the patient go there and sometimes the infection would

not show up for days.

Colonel Marcus had been busy taking notes and Lt Brewer had been busy with his camera

taking all the photos and notes that they would need about the nurses and their life here at the

MASH 4077th. Each of the nurses seemed very good at their job . The thing that the Colonel

noticed was the caring that the nurses provided. With each one of them talking to the patients

seemed to work miracles. The men seemed to perk up somewhat after they spoke to their

nurse. Hawkeye and his fellow doctor Trapper John spoke with each patient and they too

seemed to care about the patients. The only one in the room who seemed to not care was

the man that they had pulled the prank on the night before Frank Burns. Colonel Marcus

thought to himself. ' He is like a rotten potato in a bag, if that potato is not removed the rest

of the bag will go bad. Frank Burns needed to be removed from the MASH 4077th or his

spirit would bring no good to the company the hospital or the patients. I will speak to the

commanding officer about this' and with that he made a mental note of what he had just thought.

Finally Colonel Blake went over to Burns and told him to knock it off and start acting like

the Major that he was. "You need to put aside your personal life and get to work. I will not

allow you and the problems that you are having with your girl friend to interfere with the work

that you have in front of you. There will be time for life outside of the hospital when you go

outside of the hospital and not until then."

Burns turned to say something, but realized that it was the Colonel and that he out ranked

him and he had the last word. So like a child he walked slowly with a look on his face that only

a child would use and went over to one of the patients. When he realized that Colonel Marcus

had his eye on him, Frank became the nicest doctor there.

By the time that all the rounds were finished and the supplies had been counted Major

Houlihan was feeling better about herself already. She went to the mess tent and made a

point of sitting with some of the other nurses. Although the other nurses were surprised

it was not long before they were all talking and laughing among each other.

Frank Burns was a mental mess at this point. Last night he and Margaret had been lovers

and now she was ignoring him. As a matter of fact other than speaking to him about patients

she had barely acknowledged him all morning long, and now the mess hall. The two of them

had always eaten their meals together and she had taken her seat with the other nurses. He

wanted to cry, it was terrible the way he had been treated the whole day. He took his seat

at the table that he and Margaret usually shared and ate his lunch. He was all alone at a

table with no one to enjoy the meal with. Here in South Korea Frank Burns was stuck all alone

eating food that was not fit for animals. Life was mean he cried to himself.

Margaret saw Frank sitting there alone and felt a twinge of guilt. She supposed that he did

deserve some sort of explanation for her actions, but she had made her mind up and she was

never going to be with him as anything but co workers for the rest of the time that the two of

them would be assigned to that unit. At no time would she allow him to touch her again. If he

wanted love he needed to go back to his wife and family, if they would have him.

That evening they had a dance to honor their two guests who had come into their lives and

given the men and women of the 4077th a slim piece of happiness. The two men had been very

professional and had made their time in this place some would call hell tolerable.

When the three doctors returned to their tent Frank was more depressed than ever and just

walked around pacing back and forth. He could not stand it. He left the swamp and went back

to where he and Margaret usually met, but she was not there. He asked each nurse that he saw

and they all told him that they had not seen her that night. 'They are lying, she is in the tent

he heard her voice. Why won't they let him see her? Why didn't she want to see him? I must

find out I must know.' he whined to himself.

Meanwhile Margaret Houlihan was doing her best to make up for the things that she had

done to her fellow nurses. She called a meeting of the nurses and this time she meant it when

she said that she would be willing to consider any suggestions that they gave her. She told

them that once she had her own tent back she would leave a box on the outside door. If one of

them wished to leave a suggestion any one of them could and she would not try to find out who

the writer of the suggestion was. It would be a start in mending their relationship, a small step

but a step forward.

Her next step would be to speak to Frank and let him know how things were going to be

from now on. He was a mouse of a man, and she had no idea what she had ever seen in him

in the first place, but he deserved an explanation. Once she had her own tent back she would

call him over there and explain things to him. With that she put on some fresh make up and

headed out to the dance alone for the first time in two years.

When Major Houlihan arrived at the dance, she went over and spoke to Colonel Blake,

walking right past Major Burns with just a glance and nod of the head. It was, like one would

expect of someone who was just an acquaintance. Colonel Blake was talking to Colonel Marcus

about the many photos that he had taken during the past few days. "I hope that you have found

some photos that you can use. And I hope that you have found the people here at the 4077th

friendly professional and honest." he was saying as she approached.

Colonel Marcus smiled at the Major. He had seen many women who had been mistreated by

the geographical bachelors and he hoped that she had been shown the way the night before. She

gave the impression that she had. "Good evening Major Houlihan." both of the Colonels said

to her and gave her a genuine smile.

"Good evening to you both. Colonel Marcus I hope that you enjoy the entertainment that

we put up for you. You have been a breath of fresh air to us in a world where fresh air is rarely

felt. Please call me Margaret while we are at the dance. There is no need for formality here

when we are on our free time." she smiled at him.

"Thank you for the honor Margaret and please call me Mathew." he told her with a smile.

When the next dance began Mathew asked Margaret to dance. It was a slow dance and

Mathew was a good dancer. The two of them swept across the floor with ease and everyone

in the room was watching them, especially Frank. "You dance so well Mathew." she told him

with a smile.

"I always dance this way when I have a beautiful woman in my arms." he said to her in

a whisper that he placed in her ear. She caught an eye of Frank standing sulking over in the

corner. It looked like he might either cry or throw up or maybe even both. What a pitiful

sight he was.

That night Margaret had the chance to dance with all of the officers and enjoyed every single

dance. She found even Hawkeye charming, and a good dancer also. She told Frank when he

came over that she would talk to him later, and left him standing alone on the sidelines. He had

stood there the entire night almost not moving just staring at Margaret no matter where she went

at the dance. He was an emotional wreck. Whatever he had done he would make it up to her

he just could not understand what had happened.

Lt James Brewer looked over all of the women there at the MASH unit with a smile. He

had been touring the war torn Korean cities for the past year and had rarely had the chance

to see so many women in one spot. It was usually difficult to find American women in this

country, and it felt good to be in the same room with people from his own country. He had

not married , yet he did have a girl friend at home but no promise had been made to her. They

had agreed that they would date others while the two were separated by the war. He had

not cheated on his girl friend as of yet and he did not think that she had cheated on him either.

When he left the service he was sure that the two of them would get married . But, for now

he saw nothing wrong with dancing with one of the nurses.

This dance was a dream come true to a young bachelor he danced every dance until his

feet hurt. Each of the nurses were kind and generous . They were dedicated and all of them

were volunteers. No woman had ever been drafted and still the woman came. They stayed

in a place like this and flourished. He was very impressed and took many more photos.

It was now the last dance of the night and James Brewer took a look over at a nurse

named Amy Billings. She was exceptionally pretty and had the sweetest voice that he had

ever heard in his lifetime. She was no exceptionally beautiful but she was pretty in her own

way, he wanted to have the last dance with her. He walked over to her and took her hand. The

two of them danced closely and did not want to stop when the music was done. He would leave

his name and address for her, he wanted to see her again.

Amy Billiings had been honored to have been asked for another dance with the cute young

man named James Brewer. He asked her to the last dance and that was the biggest honor that

a young girl could get. When the dance was over James had walked her to her quarters. At the

door that night he gave her his address and promised that they would speak again tomorrow

before he and the Colonel left.

Meanwhile Frank Burns had spent the night watching and waiting, but to his horror Colonel

Marcus had walked her to the nurses quarters and he would have to wait. He would get to see

her on the next day of that he was sure. She would be moving back to her own tent and he would

go there tomorrow night.

Colonel Marcus went back to the tent that they had been using meeting with his partner

Lt Brewer. He had accumulated many photos of the time there at the 4077th . He had to

admit to himself that his favorite ones were of Major Burns and Major Houlihan, but those

were to be for just the use of the people at the camp. He knew that something else had

happened that night and that both of the Majors lives had been changed forever. For that he

was satisfied. His commanding officer would have the last word on which of the photos if

any would appear in the next edition of the Army Journal. There would be many pictures

submitted but only a few would appear. That was the way of photo journalism. It was his

job to put the pictures into words and that is what he was to do that night before they left

the next morning for their new assignment.

Lt Brewer went to the developing area and began developing some of the pictures that he

had taken that night at the dance. There were some good ones, but he felt a sense of guilt

whenever he came across a picture with Frank Burns in it. The Major looked sad and alone

and most noticeable was the fact that he had not come to terms with the fact that perhaps

his time with Major Houlihan was over. He was taking the break up very badly.

Many of the photos, although they might not be good enough for the magazine were very

good and the people in them might be able to give them to their families. Some of the people

in the photos would like that of that he was sure. They would offer those photos to the people

who were in the pictures first. Those photos would not be destroyed until the person in the

photo had a chance to look at them.

But it was now after midnight and the morning would come early. The two men had just

started to undress when they heard the announcement come over the PA there was incoming

wounded and the camp was again wide awake. The Colonel and Brewer jumped into their

clothes and went right over to the hospital. They held iv bottles talked calmly to frightened

soldiers anything that someone needed they helped the nurses and the doctors in and around

the operating room that night. Both of the men could see how badly more people were needed

so Lt Brewer continued taking more photos well until the early dawn.

The attack had been just ten miles south of the compound and the wounded had continued

to flow into the 4077th until five that morning. The Colonel and his partner went right to their

cot and fell asleep exhausted.

At ten am a young man named Corporal O'Reilly knocked on their door letting them know

that it was near the time for the two of them to leave. Lt Brewer had answered the door and

asked the young man to come in. "We would like to offer everyone here any of the photos that

are in this envelope. I have included all of the pictures of the joke that we pulled on the two

Majors. We will not make a copy of any of those and the pictures of Frank Burns and

Margaret Houlihan but they are in there to do with what you want." the Colonel told the young

man.

To the surprise of the two men when they walked out to start to bring all of their things

to their jeep, there was a large group there to help them. Everyone was telling them how

nice it had been to have them at the unit. Everyone helped the men pack and say their

sad good-byes. The Colonel looked at all of the people in the group and thought if there

was anything that he could do to help the group he would. James Brewer and Mathew

Marcus left with a heavy heart. If they had anything to say about it they wouold have liked

to stay with the MASH 4077 th a little longer.

All of the people in the large group around the empty tent started to go back to their

prospective temporary homes when the call came over the PA system once more that there

would be incoming wounded once again. Another busy day here at the mobile hospital where

they worked and lived the place called the 4077th.

After many hours of very grueling surgery Frank Burns was keeping a watchful eye on his

lady Major Margaret Houlihan. He knew that she would be going back to her tent when the

surgical work was done, so there he would wait.. He would stay low until she came in and then

he would have the time to talk to her. Oh he could feel those arms fondling and groping his

hard and muscled skin. He longed for the little names that she would call him and he thrust

himself into her. They had not been able to make love to each other since the two newsmen had

come into their compound and he wanted to make the best of their first time together in a week.

Margaret had just left the surgical tent when she had seen Frank sneaking into her tent,

she knew that he was in there waiting, but she was too tired. Too tired to put up with Franks

childish whining . She decided to go to bed right where she had for the past week, with the

rest of the nurses. It had been a long night and she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the

pillow.

After the grueling hours that the two doctors Trapper John and Hawkeye Pierce had endured

what the two men really needed was sleep. But their curiosity was getting to them. They had

both seen Frank leave the operating room, but he was not in his cot. They looked at each other

and smiled 'things were back to normal Frank had most likely gone to Major Houlihans tent and

would be spending the night there. They had both gone to sleep as soon as their head had hit

the pillow also.

Meanwhile Frank sat in Margarets tent and waited and waited and waited. It seemed that

everyone in the MASH 4077th had gone to sleep except for thim.s. Burns could not

stand it. Where was she? What was she doing? Why had she not come back to their tent?

He could smell her perfume he could see her standing there with her see through negligee,

Frank Burns had to have her. He went through her trunks, he even tried on her clothes

he just could not get enough of her. He lay there and cried himself to sleep.. He did not care

that he had her stockings heels big hat and flowered dress on, he was surrounded by her smells

and could sleep comfortably for the rest of the night. She would have to come back to the

tent sometime and he would be waiting. He had dressed in her clothes before and Margaret

had liked it.

When Hawkeye woke up that morning he saw his friend Trapper John waking up, but when

he glanced over at Franks bed, he saw that no one had slept there all night. Nothing had been

touched. 'What a night those two must have had' he thought to himself. They would probably

be at the mess hall making fools of themselves once again. Too bad for a minute Hawkeye and

Trapper had thought that Margaret had finally smartened up.

The two doctors went over to the mess tent to get something to eat and took a seat at the

table. At the table they saw Major Houlihan but no Frank. They took their seats at the table

and smiled up at her. "I see that Frank never came home to our swamp last night. Did the two

of you have a rough night?" he asked her with a smirk.

"I do not know what you are talking about. I have not seen Major Burns since he left the

surgery room last night. The time at surgery is tiring to us nurses too you know. I went back

to the nurses tent and went to bed. I just got up and went here for a much needed cup of coffee

a minute ago." she told them. She wondered where Frank had gone but knew that he had not

gone far he was here at the 4077th someplace.

Both Hawkeye and Trapper John were surprised by her answer, but they felt the same way

Frank was someplace here and he would come crawling into the mess hall at sometime during

the day and probably very soon. They ate their breakfasts and headed back to the swamp.

Hawkeye had wanted to go over the medical journal once again. His young patient was still

holding his own and his leg had not gotten any worse, but the leg was not getting much better

either. He needed to find out if he had missed something, or if this was normal.

Margaret headed back to the nurses quarters and started to pack her things up so that she

could go back to her own tent. She could not believe it, she was going to miss being in the

tent with the other nurses. She had always enjoyed the privacy of her tent but now she felt

as if she was going to be alone.

Margaret heard a noise behind her and saw that one of the nurses Donna was standing behind

her. "I will be glad to help you get your bags packed Major. There are a lot of things here for

you to carry."

"Thank you for your offer." Margaret told her.

In a few minutes all of the nurses that were not busy at the hospital or at another location

working came over to Margarets little space and took items to carry back to her tent. There

were not five of them carrying everything all at once. It was a big help to Margaret as when

she had been moving to the tent it took her five trips, and this time she did it in one trip.

Margaret was the last one in the line since she was carrying whatever the other girls could

not carry. She had her heavy duffel bag to carry. As the girls went into the tent they were

surprised to see the condition. All of the Majors clothes were all over the place with many

of the pieces on the dirt floor.

Each of the nurses looked around in shock. They knew that the Colonel would never have

left the tent like that and then they saw him. Frank Burns was lying there on the bed in a dress

heals and a big hat. They started laughing and turned around to see Major Houlihan standing

there with her mouth wide open in shock.

With the swift moves that the nurses were used to seeing Margaret went over to her cot and

shook Frank Burns awake. But to her and the other nurses surprise Frank looked up at them and

said "Is it time for school mommy?"

" Frank stop being foolish. You have five minutes to take off my clothes and go back to your

own tent. Do you hear me?" the Major the love of his life yelled at him.

But at this time Frank could not hear what she was saying. He had stepped into the strange

world of mental illness. Frank had a nervous breakdown and was no longer in a tent in South

Korea, he was at home in his bed as a child of eight in his world.

The nurses had seen this happen before and they ran to get a stretcher to bring Frank to

the hospital across the pathway. Amy one of the nurses ran to find Dr. Pierce or Trapper

John. Frank Burns needed to see a doctor and possibly receive some medication to help

him come back to reality. Sometimes it would take months even years. That was not

something that anyone would wish on anyone.

Amy found Hawkeye Pierce in his tent studying and Pierce came right over. He thought

that perhaps Frank was doing this as an act for attention, but found out soon that it was not

an act. The blubbering idiot that had made life a living hell to many of the people at the 4077th

had slipped into his private hell. There were no psychiatrists at the unit and Frank was going

to have to be sent to a larger hospital if Frank did not show any signs of improvement.

Colonel Blake had been at his desk doing some of the tons of paperwork that his job required

him to do when he was told the news. Frank had always been an oddity here at the MASH unit

but he was a much needed surgeon. Although the unit could run for a short time without him

being there, he would have to be replaced soon. Getting a doctor to come to a MASH unit was

a long and drawn out process and he thought that he should get the ball rolling immediately. It

would take a minimum of two weeks for a doctor to be assigned and if for some reason Frank

was all right and no longer was having any mental problems he could cancel the request.

"Radar" Colonel Blake called.

"Yes. I have already submitted your request for a doctor. I put it in as a possible permanent

position but right now a temporary position." Radar stood in the door and told him.

"Thanks." he told the young man. It always amazed him how that young man always knew

what was needed to be done and was one step ahead of him most of the time. the Colonel thought

to himself.

Margaret went to her tent and started to clean it. Some of the nurses had offered to help her

but she had told them no she wanted to be alone. She looked around the room and found some

signs that Frank had been there all night. He had tried on several of her outfits and they were

all crumpled up either on the floor or on her desk, or anything that was around her room. Most

of the clothes were going to have to be washed and ironed once again. He had something to eat

while he was there also as there were crumbs everywhere. 'How could I have done this to such

a man? I should have stopped the relationship months ago. It had not meant anything to her for

that long and now he had a nervous breakdown and she was sure that it was at least partly her

fault. Oh she knew that the prank had been the breaking point for the both of them so technically

everyone at the camp had something to do with it. But, she had to look at it logically she had

always known that Frank was a weak man. He had gotten through medical school by the skin

of his teeth and if it had not been for the family money he would not have graduated of that she

was sure. All the stresses of the war here in South Korea was hard on everyone and this had just

been the last straw for the man. He needed to be seen by a trained psychiatrist who could help

him deal with the facts of his life.

All three of the doctors examined Burns with little or no luck. It was their opinion that

Burns was slipping deeper into his little dream world and if there was no improvement by

the next morning he should be sent to the central hospital for a more thorough examination.

Frank was sure that he was in his home with his mother and that she was mad at him because

of something that he had done and had been crying most of the day.

Colonel Marcus had gone back to his central office to have the stories and pictures that

he had written and Lt Brewer had taken to his commanding officer. The journalist that was

the head editor of the magazine was a civilian but a very smart man. He would expect the

things that were given to him to be ready for print, and he would proof read the work with

a fine tooth comb.

While at the office that day he saw the request for a new doctor come over the wire. The

4077th MASH unit had found themselves at least temporarily short one doctor and needed

a replacement as soon as possible. He wondered who the doctor was and what had happened

When he had left the day before and everything had seemed normal, but they were in the middle

of a war zone, and everyone there was in constant danger.

Colonel Marcus thought about it and picked up the telephone and placed a call to Colonel

Blake. He wanted to know what had happened to his friends at the 4077th in the last day that

would make them be out looking for another doctor.

Immediately Colonel Marcus felt a tinge of guilt. He knew that the prank that he and the men

had pulled on Major Burns and he felt bad about the way he and the other men had treated the

doctor. He was a doctor and deserved to be treated with a little bit of respect and he had not

received any on that night. But what was done was done and he wanted to do something to help

the men and the women of the 4077th. He had a friend a doctor named Lynn Greenwald who

was now in Korea working at the hospital..

Colonel Marcus picked up the phone and his office and called in several favors. He had some

friends in the hospital and after a little begging and bartering his friend doctor Greenwald had

agreed to go and work at the 4077th until a suitable replacement could be found. He wanted to

call his new friend Colonel Blake and tell him the news with honesty but he could not resist

sending Major Greenwald over to the 4077th with no warning.

Colonel Blake could not believe the good luck that his unit had come across. He looked into

the file on Dr. Greenwald and was very impressed. The doctor had been a surgeon for over the

past five years and had been instrumental in developing many of the new ways to correct the

wounds of several soldiers. Every folder said that as a doctor Dr. Greenwald was among the best

in the service.

Radar had been the one to take the call from Colonel Mathers and had immediately noticed

the careful way that Colonel Marcus had spoken about this doctor. He wondered what was

wrong with him? Perhaps there was nothing strange going on but he wondered. He looked

into the folder more closely than Colonel Blake and made a very interesting discovery.

Colonel Blake walked into the tent that his doctors called the swamp and told them of

their good luck. Major Burns was to be sent out to the head field hospital that afternoon and

the replacement doctor would be arriving just afterward.

Hawkeye and Trapper John took Franks things and put them away. They would be sent to

the locker room where things were kept that would not be needed for at least two weeks. They

changed the bed and put a new bed roll out for the new doctor. They both hoped that the new

doctor was as good as was written in his file and that they would become friends. It was a harsh

life here and a friendly face was always welcome.

Henry Blake walked over to the hospital once again to speak to Major Burns. He found him

sitting up in bed and talking pleasantly to one of the nurses. It was not so shocking that the

Major was acting very pleasant, it was the conversation that had gotten his attention. Major

Burns was calling the nurse mommy and he was asking for her to make him his favorite cereal

oatmeal. He signed the papers that would allow the Majors move to the larger hospital.

It was just after two that Major Burns left the 4077th for the hospital and Major Margaret

Houlihan and the rest of the members of the company would never see him again.

Just after three a jeep arrived with the new doctor. The nurses saw the new doctor but at first

had assumed that she was the new nurse that they had been expecting for the past month. They

brought the doctor to Colonel Blakes office and gave the doctor to Radar.

Radar was not surprised to see the doctor, but for this he had to get out his camera. He had

not used it often in the office but this should be the picture to make all his other pictures some-

what insignificant. He opened the door a crack and told Colonel Blake that the new doctor had

arrived. "Send him in Radar." Colonel Blake told him.

It was then that Radar opened the door and Henry got the shock of his career. This was

indeed the new doctor, but this was a woman. She was gorgeous and for a moment he lost his

voice. Then the flash went off and Henry knew that Radar had taken a picture of him mouth

hanging open and all. "Radar." he warned.

"I want to introduce you to our new surgeon, Dr. Lynn Greenwald." Radar told him.

"I am sorry this is a MASH unit and our women are nurses. I am not sure that army regu-

lations would allow you to even serve here. " Henry started to say.

"Here are my orders sir. As you can see I have worked at the main hospital for a long time

and have worked hard at my surgical skills. I have vast knowledge of the injuries that some of

our soldiers receive and hope to be an asset to this unit." she told him with a smile.

But what could Henry do, he was desperate for a surgeon that knew their work and if he

refused to allow this woman to work here at the MASH 4077th he might never get a good

replacement. He smiled and stood up to shake her hand "Welcome to the 4077th."

He thought for a moment. She could not stay in the same tent as the other doctors so she

would have to room with Major Houlihan. The two women were of the same rank and age

and perhaps could become friends. "Radar" he called.

"I am on top of it sir. The driver of the jeep that took the doctor here and a couple of men

have put the doctors luggage in Major Houlihans tent." Radar told him.

There he went again doing things before he was asked. It was uncanny. "Dr. Greenwald

this young man known as Radar will show you to your quarters." Colonel Blake told her with

a smile..

Major Houlihan had been in the hospital checking on some of the patients when she heard

the news of the new doctor. She was glad that there would be someone there until Frank was

better or until someone could be permanently assigned to the unit. Personally she knew that if

the doctor that had come to the unit was a woman she was probably one of the best. Women

were not allowed here as a rule and to get someone in the army to give permission for a woman

doctor to be assigned to a MASH unit they would have to think that the woman was a very

capable surgeon. She looked forward to meeting the lady and bunking with her.

When Radar came to the swamp and let Hawkeye and Trapper John know that their replace-

ment was a woman and that she would be staying with Major Houlihan, both of the men took

the news well. They were not full army men and had worked with some women in their past.

Both of the men were looking forward to meeting the lady. In fact they had heard of this lady

surgeon and had heard good things about her. There was a possibility that the two of them

would learn some new techniques from her.

The two men decided to give the lady doctor time to settle into her new home and talk to

her sometime later that day. After all they were all there temporarily and some of them had

been there for over five years. This war was not a declared war it was called a police action

by the government.

Hawkeye found himself dressing nicely for the mess hall that night. He had taken a shower

and had combed his hair that evening. Trapper John watched his friend and knew that Hawkeye

was getting ready to put the move on the lady. Whenever there was a new nurse at the camp

his friend always tried to put the move on them. He was young and single and would never

change Trapper feared.

The two men walked over to the mess tent picked up their food and took their usuaal seats

at one of the tables. It was then that Hawkeye saw the doctor . She was a lovely sight to see

and smiled at the men as she walked over to get her tray and food. She was with Major

Houlihan who also smiled at the two men.

As the two ladies took a seat at the table Hawkeye stood up to introduce himself to the new

lady doctor. "Good evening my name is Dr. Hawkeeye PIerce and this is my friend and partner

in crime Dr. Trapper John. We will be working with you here and are very pleased to have a

good surgeon assigned to this unit with us."

"Well thank you for your compliment. I am looking forward to working here at the front

end of the injuries. I hope that with all of our skills we can save many lives. I am pleased to

meet the men that I will be working with." she told them with a genuine smile.

Hawkeye did not know what it was about her, but she was something very special to him.

From the moment he had seen her walk into the tent he had felt as though perhaps they had

known each other at one time or something. He just knew that he had to get to know her

she was just so beautiful and smart.

Trapper looked over at his friend and thought to himself. Well, well, well could it be

true that his friend and one of the biggest flirts he had ever met was falling in love at his first

sight of a woman doctor? Interesting. Out loud he said "How is it that you were lucky enough

to get assigned to such a place as the 4077th?"

"I am not sure lucky I guess. I am friends with Colonel Marcus and he called me yesterday

morning. He told me of your plight and asked me if I would give assistance to a very dedicated

group of people who were in need of a doctor to help out while one of the regular doctors there

were in the hospital. So here I am." Lynn Greemwa;d told the group.

"Well I want you to know that you could not have come at a better time. We are always in

need of more help, but right now one of our surgeons is iin the head army hospital under

observation. You are a sight for my sore eyes." Hawkeye told her with a smile.

Lynn looked at the tall and dark good looking doctor who was sitting next to her. She had

been told that he was very good at what he did and she just did not know what to say,. Was it

true that people could fall in love at first sight? She had heard of it happening before but it

had not happened to her until this moment. My god I think I could fall in love with this man

with no effort at all' but she said "Why thank you for the compliment Hawkeye. I am sure

that we will be seeing much of each other in the next few weeks."

The rest of the meal would go well until the call came over the PA from Radar once

more there was incoming wounded and it was time for the new doctors skills to be tested.

Both Hawkeye and Trapper knew the shock of this units working situation. There was never

enough blood or supplies. It was either way to hot or way too cold. Sometimes the generator

would die in the middle of an operation and the nurse would hold up a flashlight for the

doctor. Most of the patients had been torn apart by anything or everything that man could

come up with to use against their fellow man. She would see what it was like to work up here

at the front line and it would shock even the most veteran of doctors.

As the choppers came to the pad Hawkeye ran up and looked at each patient quickly. The

nurses would do the triage of the patients, but when the choppers brought the men in those

were the men that were in the worst condition usually. When he had a chance Hawkeye or

Trapper would go up to the choppers and make the decision on what to do right away. Too many

times the men would already be dead or so close too death that there was nothing that anyone

could do for them. This morning was different. The man was alive but had a bad wound to the

abdomen . The medics had covered his open intestines, but he needed to be brought into the

surgical ward immediately. The chance for infection was great and he would die very quickly

if the intestines were not put back into his body somehow and then sewn up. This was an opera-

tion that could save him but it would take hours and Hawkeye wanted to get right on the job.

He was running with the patient when the new doctor came around the corner pushing

another patient into the ward. She looked at Hawkeyes patient and told him. "That is one of

my specialties. I have worked on reconstructive surgery of abdominal cavity at John Hopkins

before I came here. If you wish I will do the operation. This man has a bad wound to his leg

and Trapper told me that you were the specialist in this kind of operation. So it was set she

would go on to work on the patient for over three hours and save his life. As for Hawkeye he

did another operation on a mans leg and he was quite satisfied that the operation this time was

going to be very successful.

The four doctors worked tirelessly that day for sixteen straight hours, and for the fist time

in months they had not lost a patient on the operating table. It was a day for celebration there

at the 4077th but for now all they could think of was climbing into the bed. It was now three

oclock in the morning. They said their good nights and headed back to their prospective tents.

The next morning Hawkeye got up and went over for a cup of coffee and was pleased to

find his new friend Lynn already there helping herself to a cup of coffee also. She looked even

prettier to him than he had the day before. Her hair was up above her shoulders as the Army

wanted the woman to keep their hair, but she had a way of keeping it that made her look

more attractive. She was about five foot six and one hundred and twenty pounds. Hawkeye

thought that she was somewhere about his age. She was the perfect woman for him, and he

knew it.

As they took their seat at the same table that they had sat at the night before Hawkeye

reached over and took her tray so that she could seat more easily. She smiled at him

somewhat shyly and told him "thank you."

Hawkeye smiled at her and said "I want you to know that I was quite impressed with your

performance today in the operating room. You saved that young mans life and put together

many more men that would not be here tomorrow if it was not for you. Someday I would like

to have you show me the steps that you took to place the intestines back into the mans body.

There has been many injuries such as that and as hard as all of the doctors worked here many

of the patients did not make it. Anything that could save more lives is of a deep interest to me

and all of the doctors I assure you." Hawkeye told her.

While that man with the deep voice had spoken to her, she had listened intently, but was not

able to concentrate completely. His eyes were deep and caring eyes and his voice seemed to sing

like a bird. He was so handsome, oh my god. "I will be happy to show you and each of the other

doctors what I do and how I do it if you wish. I have been working on that procedure for over the

last three years, and have found that it can be successfully done if you take your time and have

the blood that is necessary to finish the operation. Also it is recommended that large doses

of antibiotics be administered for the next three days to help with any infection that might

have begun when the intestines are exposed." she told him.

"All of us here would like you to show it to us as soon as we have the time. Our commanding

officer Henry Blake is a good surgeon also and he would be interested in any new surgical tech-

niques. It is the goal of every doctor and nurse here to make sure that anyone who has a chance

at life should be given it. I may fool around from time to time, but when it comes to my time

in the operating room I take every moment seriously." Hawkeye told her honestly and quite

softly.

The two of them were so mesmerized by each other that they had not noticed both Trapper

and Margaret who had entered the room. In fact when they sat down at the table they were

both caught by surprise. Hawkeye looked up to see both Trapper and Margaret smiling at him.

a smile that he had seen before.

Trapper John looked over at his friend and laughed to himself 'Once again he was a witness

to the Hawkeye Pierce savoir fare and if not anything when he went into this mode it was very

interesting. This was just a woman who had come into their lives for a short time, so his friend

would be safe to act like he was in love, and he was surely acting like he was right now.

Margaret had been impressed with her new roommate Lynn. This lady was one of the best

surgeons that she had seen. Lynn was quick and efficient and had a high degree of medical

knowledge, that she could see last night while she was there in the operating room. Margaret

was a nurse first, expecially here, and she had seen many doctors come and go and she knew

that her new roommate was one of the best that she had seen.

"So how are things going rooming with Major Houlihan? She is one of our favorite ladies

here at the 4077th. She takes good care of the patients and the doctors and nurses. We could

not do as much without her here." Trapper told Lynn.

"It has been quite eye opening for me. I have always heard stories about what it was like to

come to work at a MASH unit, but you have to experience it. The things that have happened

today have shown me some of the things that you all see all the time. I think that you are some

very special people . " she told him.

"Thank you for your compliment Miss Lynn. But the place gets worse and then better you

never know what the day will bring. The weather the wounded and the lack of supplies are

always a concern also here. But on the good end the food stinks but to counter that the people

are wonderful and you are a welcome beam of sunshine in this land of night." Hawkeye told her.

He could have kissed her right there but did not. He wanted to go slowly with this lady, oh yes

she was a lady of that he was sure.

Both Trapper and Margaret smiled to each other. They had seen Hawkeye flirt and work

his way to many of the nurses heart but this time was different. They both thought that perhaps

Hawkeyes feelings this time was genuine. Margaret would warn her about him though, she

did not want to see her hurt. But for now she was enjoying the time with the three doctors

and she was thinking about her life and how it had turned around. As soon as she had gotten

rid of Frank Burns her life had changed nearly overnight.

Henry Blake took a seat at the table and everyone welcomed him into their circle. Even

though he was the head of the unit Henry had always been friendly and more than willing

to socialize with the whole of the unit. He was a fair man and would go out of his way to help

anyone patient or co worker anytime that they asked.

Henry looked at the people at the table and found himself pleased with what he was seeing

and thought that perhaps a woman surgeon just might work out after all. His attention was

drawn to Hawkeye Pierce. Hawkeye was the Romeo of the 4077th and there were signs that

Hawkeye Pierce was on the move once again. He thought about saying something but knew

that this doctor must have been exposed to this kind of man before and she had her own way

of handling them he was sure.

"Henry Lynn has offered to show us the method that she uses to replace the intestines

into the victim. She saved that young mans life today and I am very interested in learning

what she has learned." Hawkeye offered.

"That is something that I would like to learn. There are many patients who come into

our unit with abdominal wounds and unfortunately many of them do not survive. I have

heard of the many advances that have been made in this kind of operation but have not had

a chance to be taught . It is an advancement in medicine that is badly needed and I would

like you to show us the methods that you use as soon as possible. Umm how about right after

we have finished our lunch. There is never a better time than the present." the Colonel told

the group.

"I will go to my tent and get all of my notes and meet you at the office gentleman. I will

be honored to show you my way of replacing intestines." and with that she was on her way

back to her and Major Houlihans tent.

"Colonel if you do not mind I would like to sit in and learn with you today." Major Houlihan

asked him.

"Anytime anyone in my unit can learn something that will help our patients I am all for it.

You are welcome to sit in on our learning lecture." the Colonel told her.

That afternoon the three doctors and the head nurse Major Houlihan learned many things

about the intestines and what could now be done to save the lives of many soldiers. With the

knowledge that they had learned that day many men who would have not survived before would

have a fighting change. There was still a problem, in that there was still a twenty-five percent

chance that the person would not survive. It was not a good prognosis but it was much better

than before. Before the operation had been shown to them the survival rate had been less than

ten percent. In fact the chance of survival had been so low that when these types of injuries

had come into triage, sometimes they had been marked as not savable. What would happen is

that the men would be given comfort medicine and then unfortunately die.

By the end of the teaching lesson Hawkeye was sure that this woman was the lady that he

wanted to someday make his wife. He knew that meeting someone in this horrible place was

not in the best of circumstances, but he needed to know her better. As the group broke up after

Lynn had finished her lecture, Hawkeye came over to her and helped her pick up her things

and put them into her briefcase. When they had finished the two of them walked out of Henry

Blakes office laughing at ease with each other.

The time was now after six in the evening and Hawkeye invited Lynn over to the mess hall

for dinner. "My dear I am afraid that the restaurants are closed and all we have left is this

small tent. I would be honored if you joined me in the delicious cuisine ." Hawkeye told

her with a bow.

"I would be honored to join you . If you could just give me a few minutes to freshen up I will

come with you to taste the delightful cuisine here." Lynn told him.

"I will await you right here at the front of your tent standing by your door. I shall be your

guardian angel. " he told her as he held the door open for her.

When the two of them Hawkeye and Lynn came across the compound Hawkeye took her

hand. Lynn had taken his hand willingly and they walked closely over to the meal that was

being served that night in the dirty old mess tent. There was no way to describe the tent

where the men and women of the 4077th were to eat their meals. The floor was dirt and the

fire that cooked the food was the only heat that the mess hall had. During the winter the hall

was nearly freezing cold and during the summer the smoke and heat from the fire made the

hall almost too hot to tolerate. The food was served from large pots almost two feet tall with

eighteen inches to its diameter. Everything was served to people with a soup spoon. The runny

mashed potatoes and oatmeal were just two of the samples of the runny stuff that the people

were supposed to eat. The eggs were not real and they were pasty tasting. Everything that

should be hot was cold and everything that should be cold was hot. The food was barely edible

but Hawkeye had learned to make the best of it. He attacked the horrible food in the best way

that he could by making jokes about it.

Lynn looked at the man that they called Hawkeye. She could see by the questions that

he had asked at their meeting that he truly was interested in her work. She had watched

him in the operating room and had seen that his work was excellent and that is dedication

was steadfast. He would not compromise on the care of his patients and she knew that

he would put his new skills to good use. "So Hawkeyie I was wondering where are you

from?"

"I am from Maine. Where are you from?" Hawkeye asked her.

"I am from a small town in the western part of Massachusetts. We do not come from such

a long way apart from each other. I studied in Boston and then went and joined the army when

I heard of the horrors of the war and the badly needed personal. The army has never been

very fond of women surgeons but I have been able to convince most of the people that a

woman can be just as good as a man in the operating room. I obtained the rank of Major

just three months ago and am proud of my work." Lynn told him.

"I do agree with you . You are what the army needs neither woman or man. As for me I had

no choice to come here I was drafted. I had only been a surgeon for a year when I got my draft

notice. All that I have learned I have learned her almost entirely. Oh in medical school I learned

how and why but here I unfortunately have learned the how to s from personal experience. I was

a young man when I came here and am an old man although I am but thirty-three now." Hawkeye

told her with a serious look on his face.

That day life was calm and everything was going as usual. Hawkeye and Trapper John had

spent the afternoon studying the operation that Lynn had taught them, and were just starting to

head out to see what was going on at the unit, when one of the locals came in begging for a

doctor. His father had fallen from a great height and needed a doctor.

Lynn had come out of her tent when she had heard the man and looked at the friends who

were busy talking to the man. Hawkeye was telling the man that he would go with him to

his home and do what they could to help his father. "I will go with you if you wish." Lynn

offered them.

"A woman doctor? Oh III do not know ." the man answered.

"She is one of our best." Hawkeye promised him.

And with that the three men headed out to the compound. It turned out that the man lived

some near five miles away. It is not a long trip to the person in the United States, but here in

the country of South Korea it is a place of danger and the ride has to be driven carefully The

roads were bare paths and very muddy. Anywhere they drove could be laden with mines also.

The three people had to drive and watch for any signs . The ride took the three of them

nearly an hour. When they approached the man's home, a quiet little shack with a thatched

roof. they got out of the jeep.

Upon entering the shack Lynn noticed the dirt floor and the open fire that was roaring in

the middle of the room. The shack was bare with just blankets that had been piled in one

of the corners. The room did not actually have any corners as the hut was circular. In the

room lay a man probably in his late forties. He was a wake but in obvious pain. Hawkeye and

Lynn went right over to the man and looked him over.

The man had been seriously injured,. He had a compound fracture of his left leg and

probably a fractured wrist. He also might have a concussion. Hawkeye and Lynn both realized

that he needed to be taken to a hospital. The MASH unit was the closest thing near but that

was supposed to be used it was military personal. For just a second Lynn hesitated, but not

her friend Hawkeye, he and the other members of the mans family and Lynn carried the man to

the jeep.

Lynn knew that the ride would be very dangerous for the man. The ride was very rough and

dangerous for a healthy person. For a man in his condition it was very dangerous and there was

a good possibility that he might not survive the ride. Lynn and the other men put blankets all

around the man cushioning him the best they could.. They tied him down with belts and Lynn

and Hawkeye began the ride to the MASH hospital.

As the three people drove toward the hospital they could hear the nearby shots that were being

fired in a field not too far away, Both of them knew that there would soon be incoming wounded

also. How would Colonel Blake handle this situation Lynn thought? Just as the trio turned the

corner a group of men jumped out of the bushes. Hawkeye stopped the jeep immediately and

tried to talk to the men. But the men wanted everything the men had including the jeep. The

two surgeons found themselves with nothing that they could do but comply. All of the robbers

had loaded weapons and they were sure that the men were more than willing to use it. So, Lynn

and Hawkeye got the man out of the jeep and watched as the jeep was driven the other direction

The three of them were now on a road riddled with danger at least three miles from the MASH

unit. Lynn picked up one end of the stretcher and Hawkeye the other end and started the long

walk back to the camp. They had no medical supplies, as the robbers had taken all the medicine

and tools during the robbery. The thieves took the blankets that had been used to keep the man

safe also along with the belts that held him in.

Carrying the man was very difficult and slow. Hawkeye and Lynn could walk but five

hundred feet before they would have to stop and take a rest. The mud was up near to their knees

at times and the road was a rarely traveled one. There was little chance that a friend was going to

show up on the road to give them a ride and no one at the camp was going to miss them for some

time. Each of the MASH people knew how dangerous the trip was and knew that something like

this could take hours or even longer. They would not be missed until at least the next morning,

and by then they would make it to the camp if nothing else happened.

Lynn figured that she and Hawkeye had made it about a half a mile when the rain started. It

was a harsh rain, the rain came down like pellets . They had to get shelter. The road was no

longer passable. Hawkeye and Lynn took shelter under a grove of trees and although they were

still getting wet it was drier. They had to keep their patient warm and as dry as possible so they

made the decision to place the man on Lynn's sweater and Hawkeyes shirt and then cover the

man with the stretcher. This was a good move as it kept the man covered but it made the two

friends Hawkeye and Lynn much colder. They had no dry wood or anyway of lighting a fire as

the thieves took everything that they owned.

The two doctors were in an unbelievable situation. They knew that these harsh rains could

last anywhere from twenty minutes to all day long. They also knew that their patient had now

slipped into unconsciousness and that the three of them were in extreme danger. They both

looked desperately for some sort of vehicle that might venture down that road, but in this kind

of storm they both knew that any person with common sense would be sitting someplace waiting

for the storm to subside.

As they stood their huddled under the tree the two people could not believe their ears, they

heard the sound of an approaching jeep. Hawkeye ran towards the road and waived his hands.

He must have startled the driver because the driver went into a spin and struck a nearby tree.

Hawkeye and Lynn ran to help the man who had been driving the jeep and to their amazement

found that the same man who was driving the jeep was one of the men who had stolen their

belongings and jeep. This was the jeep that they had been driving originally. 'How ironic' Lynn

thought.

Both of the doctors checked the man behind the wheel. They both concurred that the man

had been simply knocked out and that he would be all right. They lifted the man out from

behind the wheel and placed him in the back of the jeep. They tied his hands with the belts

that he had taken and Hawkeye tried to start the jeep. Miraculously the jeep started and appeared

to have survived the crash with a large dent. The jeep now was going to have to take all four of

the people back to camp. They were all wet cold and two were seriously injured. Lynn and

Hawkeye lifted the wounded man that they had originally been taking care of and placed him

back on the stretcher. They lifted him carefully and slowly brought him to the jeep. Lifting the

man was very difficult as there was no room in the jeep for all of them and lifting the man into

the jeep was heavy and slow. It was almost forty-five minutes before the two doctors were able

to get the man into the jeep in the pouring rain. The mud was now over their knees in some

spots and Hawkeye knew that they must leave then if they were not to get stuck in the mud.

But the weight of the jeep and the people and the stretcher made the ride unsafe in fact both

of the doctors then knew that one of them were going to have to wait for someone to return back

to them. They would need to wait at the grove for a little longer.

Lynn knew that the best person for the ride back in the jeep was Hawkeye. Hawkeye knew

the way back to the camp and was used to driving a jeep. Lynn drove a car yes, but had only

driven an army jeep one time in her life. She knew that the mud and the rain would make the

ride back even more treacherous. Hawkeye gave the lady his coat to help her keep warm and

headed out to the camp.

Hawkeye had the thought of taking the thieves coat but left without it on. The rain made

the ride unbearably cold and the thief was beginning to stir. He knew that time was running out

for both of the doctors and their patient. He knew that even with his coat Lynn could not survive

out in the rain for long either, and so he journeyed on as fast as he could.

The ride was dangerous but Hawkeye could see the 4077th up ahead. He blew the horn

as he entered the camp and his friend Trapper John and several of the nurses ran to his

aid. They carried both of the patients into the hospital and put Hawkeye into the warmth

of the tent immediately. His life was saved, but he needed to have someone go out on the

road and find Lynn. "Lynn is still out there standing among some trees in a cove. She has

but my coat on and is drenched. We must get her some warm blankets and clothes ." he

yelled as he grabbed the blankets and clothes out of the supply closet.

"Where are you going Trapper grabbed his friends arm. Hawkeye had now begun to get

undressed and was preparing to put some warm dry clothes on. "I have to go back and get

Lynn I am the only person that knows where she is and she cannot survive out there much

longer." he told his friend anxiously as he dressed himself.

Trapper knew that Hawkeye was right and he was needed in the operating room along with

Colonel Blake. At this time Radar had shown out of nowhere and was headed to the office

to get the commanding officer. Henry would be nervous about doing surgery on the thief

and the South Korean but they all knew that he would do it. Henry was one of the best in

the unit and knew his job well.

Hawkeye looked around the compound for someone who might want to go with him on this

journey to find the lady doctor. He was surprised to find Margaret Houlihan already by the

jeep with a surgical kit and clean and dry clothes in the jeep under a tarp. She also had two

separate pieces of tarp that they could use for shelter should the jeep become stuck in the mud.

She knew that was a real danger, and that the three of them had a long ride back to the camp.

Major Houlihan smiled at Hawkeye Pierce as he got into the jeep with her and they began

the long journey back to the grove where Lynn was waiting for their return. She would be

cold hungry and scared. This was a serious test of the lady doctors courage.

The jeep twisted and turned and nearly tipped more than once but within the hour they

had arrived at the grove. There under the trees they found Lynn. She had slept into a

sleep, a sleep that could have soon become death. Hawkeye and Margaret both rubbed

the doctor hard and took all of her clothes off right there on the blankets that they had

laid on the ground and built a fire. They had taken the tarp that Margaret had thought

of bringing and were now in shelter with heat. This was the only way that they knew

that they could save Lynns life. She would not have survived the trip back to the camp

in the pouring rain and they knew it.

As Hawkeye and Margaret stood over Lynn and watched for any signs that she was

improving the rain kept coming. They were relatively warm and thought that Lynn would

wake up soon. Slowly Lynn opened her eyes. To her disbelief she looked up to see Hawkeye

and Margaret standing over her. She saw that she was under the cover of a tarp and there

was now a huge fire burning near her. A warm fire that had saved her life that day.

She got up on her elbow and looked at the two people who had just saved her life and

smiled. "I do not know how to thank you. I knew that I was getting very tired and that soon

I was going to slip into a deep sleep. You were not gone for more than an hour when I knew

that I was going to die soon if you did not arrive soon. How can I ever thank you?"

"You can thank us by getting better. Lie back and rest. The rain is finally starting to subside

and we will be on our way back to camp." shortly. Hawkeye told her with a tender voice. He

took her hand and kissed her softly on the forehead.

Margaret had brought some bread for nutrition and some hot coffee. When she thought

that Lynn was feeling a little better, she gave her a few sips of the coffee and it seemed to

perk her up a bit. By the time the rain had stopped Lynn was able to walk to the jeep with

little assistance. But to their horror they found the jeep entrenched in the mud. They tried

poles and pushed with everything that they had but the jeep was stuck. They had two choices.

One choice was that they would all stay at the tarp, two was they could try to make it back to

camp together or three one could go back to the camp and get help from some of the members

of the MASH unit and pull the jeep out.

Both Hawkeye and Margaret argued about what was to be done. "Look Hawkeye you are

weak from your ordeal already. I am strong and young and can make it back to the camp within

the hour. I will bring help right back I promise. It is but a journey of only about three miles.

I know that the walkie talkie that we brought is out of range but it should reach the unit within

the nest mile. Let me go." Margaret demanded.

It was then that both Lynn and Hawkeye agreed to let Margaret head out until she could

reach the MASH unit that they were all sure was listening intently for any sign of the party.

But, just as Margaret started to walk toward the camp they heard a jeep. Thinking that

this could be anybody they looked out worriedly. It was then that they recognized Radar

and a large group of people ( the jeep was over full) coming to their aid.

"When we saw that the rain had stopped and we did not hear from you, we all decided

that it was time to come and find you." Radar told them.

Within a moment the jeep was out of the mud and Lynn was safe in the jeep once more. The

men headed back to MASH 4077th. The ride took but one half an hour, with the road getting

better every foot of the way and soon they were at the camp being hailed as heroes. The nurses

took Lynn and Hawkeye directly back into the hospital to be thoroughly examined.

When all was said and done the two doctors were all right and with a little warmth

and rest they would be back working the patients with in a day or two. Both patients

went back to their tents and went to bed..

The next morning Margaret woke up to find her new friend Lynn sitting at her desk

reading a medical journal. She knew that the doctor was very dedicated and was always

eager to learn new procedures and utilize them. "How do you feel Lynn?" she asked .

."I find myself with a little cold and I am tired but other than that I am ok. I wonder how

Hawkeye is." she told her.

The two women sat together for most of the morning looking over the different journals

that Lynn had brought to the camp . Margaret wanted to keep an eye on her new friend

as the trip yesterday had been very scarey. But, Lynn had taken it all in stride and was getting

better by the minute. They discussed some of the things that they had read and was surprised

that the tent was now dark and they were going to need to turn the lights on. Margaret looked

at her watch and told Lynn. "You need your nutrition too. You have rested most of the day. I

will go over to the mess hall and get you something to eat. I will make them heat up your

food and make sure that it is not cold." she promised her friend.

"No no I will go over. I need the change of scenery" Lynn protested.

"Do not be silly you need your rest. It is not often that a doctor gets to take a two day rest

here take advantage of the time, you will be needed again soon." Margaret put her hand on her

shoulder and smiled.

Lynn smiled and thanked her care giver. "I hope that you will join me in our dining time here

in our tent." she offered.

Margaret smiled at her friend and told her " I would not have it any other way. I will also

check on our two new patients and Hawkeye. I will be back soon." she promised her new friend

and roommate.

Lynn smiled at her new friend and remembered what her friend Mathew Marcus had told

her. He had told her that the 4077th had some of the nicest people there and that her time

would not be too bad because of that. She had gone to the camp knowing some of the dangers

that she would discover, but every minute she learned something new.

Margaret made her way to the hospital where she found one of the nurses Amy taking

care of the gentleman who had fallen from the roof. He had been exposed to the storm

and had his leg in traction, but he was holding his own. The greatest danger to him at

this time was that he could contact pneumonia if they did not watch him carefully.

As to the robber he was going to be going with the MPS that were coming to get him

and bring him in for trial with his own country men. The country of South Korea was

very harsh and if found guilty the man and his friends would spend many years in one

of the notorious prisons. Margaret had felt that he belonged in an Anerican prison but that

was not the agreement between the two countries and the prisoners would be treated by

the laws that governed their world.

Satisfied that she was sure that both of the men were in good hands Margaret made her

way to the mess tent. She was surprised to find Hawkeye and Trapper sitting together at

their regular table. "I thought that you would be resting Hawkeye. I would not let Lynn

leave the tent. I am going to bring our dinner to our tent." she told them.

"How is she?" Hawkeye asked Margaret with sincere concern.

"She is all right just a little tired. This will be the first real meal that she has had and I am

going to make sure that it tastes as good as it should. " Margaret then turned and went over to

the cook "Look you might be able to force this slop down my throat, but I have a sick doctor

that needs the food to look and taste less than ugh what you call this stuff. Take this out back

and warm it up and make some hot coffee." she yelled at him.

The cook looked to the other men and got no sympathy, so he did as he was demanded and

went out back to try and heat it up. He knew what the doctor had been through and how every-

one at the camp had been worried about her.

Hawkeye looked at Margaret and thought how much she had changed for the better since

Burns had not been around. He was wondering about Frank Burns too. He did not wish that

kind of thing on anyone not even Frank Burns.

As if he was reading the minds of the people at the mess hall Radar walked over to the mess

tent at that time. He stopped at the table with Hawkeye Trapper and Margaret and told them " I

just got a call from the hospital where Frank Burns is staying. There has been little or no change

in his condition and they are shipping him back to the states."

It was sad news for the people at the desk. They all knew that the stress of being at the 4077th

was hard on everyone. They also knew that Frank had showed signs of mental problems before,

but they had always thought that it was just the way he was. "Please send our deepest thoughts

to Frank and his family." Margaret told Radar.

Both of the doctors repeated what she had said and Radar left to get the message out. Frank

had been cruel to Radar at times, but no one deserved this. His family would not be the same if

the psychiatric hospital in the states could not help him. The three of them just sat there in

silence until the cook brought them Lynn and Margarets meal. Margaret went back to her tent

with their dinner heavy in thought. It was a terrible day and she did wish the best for Frank.

She worried about him but knew that she did not love him. She just needed to let him go and

get back to his own world.

Colonel Blake was now facing the probability that Frank Burns would not be returning to

the 4077th ever and with heavy heart he wrote out his request for a permanent doctor. He knew

that Lynn had proved herself in the last few days. Perhaps she could become a permanent

member of his team. He would ask, but was not sure what the army would decide. 'This

is a miserable war. Nothing ever is enough they always needed something, perhaps the

day was coming. There was talk of another cease fire. It was the tenth eleventh attempt,

he no longer knew he had stopped counting. All he could do was hope.

Margaret arrived at the tent to find Lynn still going over the medical books and she smiled

and took her tray of food. "I know that the food is not that good, but I made the cook go out

in the back and warm it up today. He did it for you and wishes you a speedy recovery." she

told her friend.

Hawkeye had been up long enough. He would have liked to go over to Lynns tent and see

her but he knew that both she and he needed their rest and there would be other days. With

Frank gone permanently Lynn would be needed for a while longer. No doctor had ever been

replaced quickly. She would be lucky if she was gone in three months. With that he went

back to the swamp to take a nap.

The rest of the day was uneventful at the MASH. Their two star patients were beginning

to show signs of improvement and the man who had fallens wife came to the camp to see

her husband. She bowed over and over to Lynn and Hawkeye and wanted to pay for their

services. She had no money, but she would clean do their laundry anything. Lynn had never

dealt with this before but Hawkeye knew what the woman was thinking.

Hawkeye took the lady by the shoulders and smiled. "Thank you please my swamp and

the lady doctors tent are in desperate need of a cleaning. If you clean our homes your bill

will be paid with honor."

The lady bowed down and smiled at the two doctors. "Thank you Thank you " she said as

she headed to the swamp first. She was honored to clean such an important home. But such

a mess the doctors must be very busy. She cleaned everything from the top to the bottom even

cleaning the still that was desperate for a good cleaning.

As she left the tent she found Hawkeye and bowed. "Thank you I have finished cleaning your

home. I go now to Dr. Greenwald and the lady nurses tent." she told them with another bow.

The ladies tent was much different from the other tent. Everything was neatly put away

and she finished cleaning it in under an hour. She would make these lovely woman a Korean

dish that night when she got home.

But tomorrow was to be another day for celebrating Father Mulcahy was coming back from

being at the church on business for the past ten days. The camp had not been the same without

him there and perhaps he had some word about more money for the orphanage and other

programs that had been designed to help the people of the local towns. The money that the

orphanage now made off of their land had helped immensely, however there were now twice as

many orphans as there had been and they did need money once in a while just to tide them over

to the next payment the MASH unit would give them to use the land. At this time MASH had

paid their rent already six months in advance and Colonel Blake worried about an audit every

time that an officer showed up unannounced at his unit.

As expected the father arrived back at the unit just short of eleven am and he was met by

a large group of fellow MASH members. He was one of the favorite people who were stationed

there and everyone was glad to have him back. They had a lot to tell them but that would wait.

Everyone helped to bring his things into his tent and then Hawkeye and Trapper took a seat.

"How was your trip? Did you have any luck with the church acquiring a little extra money for

the people of the local towns?" Trapper asked him.

"I did have some success on my trip. I have enough money to run the orphanage for about

three months. I am afraid that the orphans will be a little short on cash once again. The church

also gave me clothing and blankets and three chords of wood for their heat." he told them some-

what sadly. "But god will provide for the rest I am sure."

"Well we must take the things over to the sisters so that she can give out all of the new

things. It will be like Christmas to the children. We must go over there with smiles and

fun for the children. They should not have to worry about the money that they will not have

in the next three months.. There has been a couple of changes here too since you left. I think

that you will find the changes interesting." Hawkeye told him as he winked at his friend

Trapper John.

The father did not miss the grins on the mens faces and wondered what the two of them had

been up to. Where these two men were concerned nothing would surprise him so he said. "Oh

and what happened here during my absence? " he asked the two men cautiously.

Hawkeye looked at his friend Trapper and started the story "I am sorry to say that Major

Burns has been sent to the states. He had a nervous breakdown just eight days ago. I must

confess to you that I may have had something to do with his demise. We had two visitors

come to the company to write a story about us and take pictures. I am afraid that he and

Major Houlihan had it in their heads that they wanted to be the star of the story. Well, that

was when we decided to pull a prank on them. After the prank Margaret broke up with him

and he had a nervous breakdown."

The father was sure that there was much more to the story but he did not want to hear all

that had happened just five minutes after his arrival back. "Well I am sorry to hear about what

has happened to Major Burns. I will pray for him." he tole them with a solemn face He had

seen such things too many times. For every injured body Father Mulcahy had seen since he

had fist arrived there was an injured mind. He had heard stories of men who had come back

from battle who suffered nightmares and jumped at the smallest sound for years after they

had left the battlefield. Too many men had left to go to a psychiatric hospital, it was so sad.

Hawkeye and Trapper John sat there and let the things set in that they had just told the father

and then Hawkeye spoke once again. "However, with all the bad things that have happened there

has been a bright sky that has come to stay at the 4077th. We have a new doctor a Dr Greenwald.

The doctor is very efficient and helped me out just two days ago with an injured local man. It

is because of the doctors skills that the man is going to be all right."

Father Mulcahy smiled and told them "I am glad that you have been able to find someone to

take over for Frank Burns. I know that you thought that his skills as a surgeon were not that

good but a doctor is a tough commodity for one to come up with in this horrible war." he said

with a shake of his head.

Trapper looked at Hawkeye and told him "I think that you should know something about this

new doctor. The doctor is good and has won the admiration of everyone here at the MASH

4077th, but the fact is she is a woman." he told the priest.

Father Mulcahy was surprised with such news. He had always thought that no women

were allowed to practice at a mobile hospital, but times were changing. "Is she staying in

Major Houlihans tent?" he asked not being able to think of anything else to say.

"Yes she is. One other thing Margaret Houlihan is like another person now that Frank

Burns has left us. She is a much friendlier person and is beginning to be well liked by all

of the nurses. She eats with us and is becoming good friends with the lady doctor. We call

her Lynn.

"I look forward to meeting her. She seems like she has won the heart of you two also. That

is a good thing. Life goes on no matter what happens. If you do not mind I would like to get

going to the orphanage in a few minutes. Are you available?" the father asked them.

"Yes Lynn has told that she would like to go over and see the orphanage. She loves

children and would like to help them out when she can." Hawkeye told him.

"Well go ahead over there and ask her if she would like to go over there now, if

she does not mind."

Hawkeeye walked over to Lynn and Margarets tent and knocked on the door. Lynn

was the one that answered the door. "I have one Father Mulcahy who has a jeep full

of things for the orphanage outside and he would like to know if you would like to go

with us over to bring the things to the children." Hawkeye told her with a smile.

The doctor grabbed her hat and followed Hawkeye to a jeep that was parked just

outside of the mess hall. It was filled with what looked liked blankets and clothes

and even had a few toys for the children in it also. She looked at the things in the

jeep and wondered what the children were like. Most of the clothes had been donated

by people who were in the United States and many of the items look like they were brand new.

Lynn looked up and saw Father Mulcahy walking toward the jeep. He was a good

looking man with blonde hair and glasses. He had a kind face and smiled warmly at her as

he and she was introduced to each other.

"I have heard nothing but good things about you Lynn. I think that you will find the

orphanage a poor place but the children are loved and well fed. They also have a great

yard for them to play in. It is one of the nicest places that I go to here in Korea.." the

father told her with a genuine smile.

With that the three of them headed to the orphanage. The orphanage was very close to the

camp maybe three miles away. It contained two larger buildings. One was a church that

was used for school and a place to eat also. The other building was used to house the students

as they slept. There were beds for up to seventy-five children and most of the beds were

currently in use. The orphanage was almost full.

As the jeep arrived at the compound, children came running up to it laughing and calling

to the two men that they knew well. They looked at the new lady and had lots of questions

for her. Most of the boys were shocked to hear that there was such a thing as a woman doctor,

while the girls tended to look to her with pride. But they were all excited to see all of the new

things that their two buddies from America had brought them.

Sister Mary and Theresa came over and thanked the three of them over and over. "I do not

know what we would do without you. Thank you. Ok kids lets bring the new things into the

church so we can see what we have. How do you do My name is sister Mary and this lady next

to me is Sister Theresa. It is an honor to meet the famous lady doctor." she told them.

"I do not think of myself as very famous." Lynn laughed. "I am just like any other doctor

and I wish to be treated as such she told the sisters with a smile.

The five adults carried all of the things with the help of most of the children to the church.

The children all jumped with joy as they each received something from the boxes that had

been chosen for them by the sisters. Somehow or another the Sisters managed to find some-

thing special for each and everyone of them here in this small inlet in the middle of a war in

South Korea.

Lynn spent the day with the children and watched as her friend Hawkeye took each one

of them in his arms and played. They played until the darkness swept into the woods like

a silent snake. One second it would be light and then the darkness would come. With the

darkness would come the dangers and the three men knew that they were going to have to

leave.

Each of the three people gave each and every child a hug good-bye and promised that they

would return to see them in a short time. They made sure that each of them knew that they

needed to study hard and obey the sisters. Each one of them promised that they would do such

things. They all knew how lucky they were to be in the orphanage. Most of them had spent

many weeks on the street as beggars before being found and brought there.

Lynn took one last look at the orphanage as she turned her head to wave to the youngsters

as they waved good-bye until the jeep disappeared completely. Lynn felt good about what

she had just seen and felt that the children were as safe as they could be in this horrible war.

She knew that danger lurked everywhere, but perhaps the children would be spared most of

the horrors that were going on around them.

When they arrived back at the 4077th it was dinner time. The mess hall was busy with the

people of the unit eating their meals. Mealtime although either too hot or too cold at night

was usually the highlight of the day. It was the time that friends could meet with each other

and talk about their day together, or talk about family. As usual the mess hall was loud but

happy and everyone came over and welcomed the father back. Lynn could see that this kind

man that she had just spent the day with was well liked. People liked him and she also liked

him. He was a good addition to the 4077th community. He also provided a much needed

service to the members of the 4077th and to the patients.

Margaret and Lynn had been treated well for the past week and were starting to feel very

comfortable. Margaret Houlihan was beginning to feel much more comfortable without

Frank. He had been a large part of her life for so long, such a negative influence. She had

needed someone at that point in her life and he had taken advantage of her. She made up

her mind that she will never get into that situation again.

As Hawkeye and Lynn left the mess hall together, Hawkeye took her to the side and started

to walk up and down the path. The camp looked strange in the dark. the flickering lights in

the tents and the smells of the mess hall mixed with the odor of wood burning in the stoves,

made for a strange combination. You could hear the people talking, some in their tents, some

going to the showers, some just walking around together, it was a busy place even when there

was nothing going on bad as far as wounded or anything at this time.

They walked slowly and spoke to each and everyone who they came upon. Hawkeye knew

them all by name. Lynn felt bad because she had yet to learn all the names of the men and

women there at the camp. She knew that it was going to be only a matter of time before she

knew each and everyone of them and so she relaxed enjoying her time with Hawkeye.

Lynn had never had many dates or lovers. She had always been too busy with her medical

school and then residency she was always too busy working twelve hours a day. It seemed

strange that she had met a man from Crabapple Cove Maine, when she had once lived so close

to Maine in Greenfield Massachusetts. They were both from small towns and had both gone to

small high schools. She had been a cheerleader and he had been on the football team. If they

had lived in the same town when they were children she was sure that they would have been the

best of here they were five thousand plus miles from home and fate had brought the

two of them together.

Hawkeye took her to a spot where he had taken many nurses. It was a quiet little cove of

trees and the men had made a small bench for the couples to sit on. It was a nice place to keep

their eyes on the stars and to enjoy the sky. It was getting chilly out but it was not too cold to

spend a little time together in private.

Lynn took a seat on the bench and Hawkeye took a seat next to her. He looked into her eyes

and felt as if they were deep pools of wonder. His whole body shivered as he felt her body up

against his in an embrace. He reached over and gently kissed her and she accepted his kiss he

too submitted and the kisses went down her neck and down to her hand. He wanted to kiss

everything but knew that he had gone far enough.

Lynn looked at Hawkeye and wanted to feel his lips, and as their mouth met her heart

melted there in the cold wintry air of South Korea. He kissed her neck and cheek and actually

kissed her arm right down to the hand. She had to put a stop to him then for the lovemaking was

going too fast and they both knew it.

They sat back on the bench and Hawkeye put his arm around her. She shivered a little and

so he pulled his jacket around the two of them. His jacket was army issue and was nearly two

sizes to big for him anyways. Lynn was so small that if the two of them had sat together any

closer they could have both fit into his jacket.

As he was thinking about them both fitting into his jacket, he gave out a laugh. He kissed her

fondly on the top of her head and said. "You have stolen my heart, my dear. I am afraid that I

am not responsible for what happens when I am around you.

"Oh Hawkeye you are such a joker. We have hardly known each other for more than a week. \  
It is impossible to fall in love that quickly. Is that what you tell all the girls?" Lynn asked.

Hawkeye did not want to admit that he had told some of the nurses the same thing. But he

had never been serious when he told them that. Tonight he was serious, he did think that he

had fallen in love and did not know what to do about it. "I may have said it once or twice,

but never to someone as beautiful and smart as you." he told her.

She thought of what he was saying and could not help but think that her feelings were real and

that once again it was strange that this war had brought them together. Had it not been for the

police action here in Korea they may have never met.

There was an unwritten rule about that bench and that was that no one should use the bench

for over half an hour. It was one of the few spots in the camp that a couple could go and have

some privacy and on a night like this there could be a long line of prospective lovers all waiting

for their turn to use the bench.

Hawkeye looked at Lynn and told her "I think that we have used the bench long enough this

night. I am sure that there is a long line of people waiting to use the bench themselves. After all

this is the only bench that we have here. We will come back again." he told her and took both

her hands and then took her into her arms for one move long lingering kiss. The two of them had

to come up for air and walked back to their tents hand in hand once again.

The next few days were filled with the normal everyday life that one would expect in the

MASH unit. They got their supplies once again. The blood came and it was short of the supplies

that were needed and the weather was getting colder. Soon the snow would blanket the land

and the trees would pick up their sparkles of white. The road inside of the compound would be

heavily traveled winter or summer and would remain dirt and muddy. To look at that dirt road

with the ruts from all of the jeeps and ambulances that had come through for the past three

or so years had left behind. The tents would be closed up the best that they could get them

and the mess tent would be cold and drafty because of the constant opening and closing of

the doors. The place was going to get even a more difficult place for them to live. They

had received an extra set of blankets to help them with the long cold nights and the army

had now given them winter pajamas. Everyone there had heavy robes and slippers with

socks because they knew what the winters were like.

Colonel Blake had been contacting army headquarters every week for the past month and had

finally heard from them. Lynn would not be staying at the 4077th. There was to be a new doctor

arriving on Monday. His name was Major Charles Emerson Winchester III . Colonel Blake

had read his personal report and had found it to be quite impressive. It was now his job to let

Lynn that she was going to be going back to the main hospital. Although the main hospital was

just thirty miles away, it was a lifetime away from the MASH 4077th and it was more likely

than not once she left the unit they would not see her anymore.

Colonel Blake went to get Radar when Radar said that he had just sent one of the other men

to see Lynn and that she would be here at his office shortly.

Dan Myers had been a friend to most of the people who had come and gone at the 4077th,

there were those that he really liked and those that he did not like as much, but he had never met

anyone who he did not like at all. He felt sorry for Lynn. He knew that she and Hawkeye Pierce

were close and she had been such an asset to the company. He was walking toward the lady

doctors tent when he heard the familiar laugh of both Hawkeye and Lynn. They were walking

together once more hand in hand and he thought that they might be falling in love. He then

smiled and went over to them. "Lynn Colonel Blake sent me to come and get you, he would like

to have you come to the office right away.

The two of them looked at each other. The words did not have to be spoken, they both knew

what had happened. Colonel Blake had found out who was going to be the new doctor and he

wanted to let her know that she would be leaving the 4077th soon. After all she was of more use

to the army as a teacher than being here at the 4077th. Hawkeye took her by the arm and told

her "I would be honored to go with you to see Henry."

"Thank you maybe we can convince him to talk to someone about me staying here. No that

will not work we both knew that this was not a permanent position. I belong at the hospital

teaching as I help others who have been injured here. We will not have all of the time that

we have together as we do now, but we will see each other if you wish." Lynn told him.

"You will not be able to escape my clutches. I have never felt like this about anyone

before. We were meant to meet and no matter what we will meet again." Hawkeye told her

and gently kissed the top of her head.

The two of them walked into Henry's office hand in hand. Henry was sitting in his chair

behind his large desk and told them of what was happening. "I am truly sorry, but the main

hospital is where you are really needed Lynn. We are just a patch and ship unit and you are

the doctor that will finish our work. The two of us make a good pair. I wish that we could

have kept you and hope that you come to see us once in a while/" Henry told them.

"Do not worry you will not get rid of me that easy. I will be coming back to visit whenever

it is possible. The people of this unit have touched my soul, not only my heart. " Lynn told

him.

Margaret was heartbroken that once again she would be alone in her tent and that her friend

was going to be leaving in just three days. This war was so unfair. Just about the time you got

to know and trust someone they would be taken away from you. She must go and tell the nurses

they needed to give her a surprise party. With that she headed over to the nurses tents.

When she arrived at the tent she knocked first out of respect. It was something that she had

not done before when she was with Major Burns and many times she had opened the doors

to the screams of the ladies who were in various states of undress. This time the door was

opened by one of her friends Donna. She was welcomed in so she asked that if she could

have their attention for a few minutes. The ladies stopped and went to the center of the room

as if they were going to be inspected. "No no this is nothing official I have something that

I want to say to you and ask if anyone is interested in my idea." she told the crew.

Her friend Amy told her "take a seat. What is on your mind?" she asked.

"I have just been told that our lady doctor will be leaving on Monday. We will be getting

a new doctor on that day." Margaret told the group.

"Oh no that is not fair " the group called out.

"I know it is not fair, but she is needed at the main hospital where surgery does not have

to be done quickly. She is a teacher and a good one. She taught Trapper Hawkeye and Henry

a new procedure the first day that she came. She has been a ray of sunshine in a land of the

hopeless. That is why I would like to throw her a surprise party.:" Margaret told the group.

"Oh that sounds like such a good idea. We can make her a cake and have our little band

that we use for dances play special for her. There is no one at this unit that has not been

touched by her. She is one of the nicest and one of the best doctors I have ever met." Donna

chimed in.

All of the nurses had ideas and were well into making the plans when the call came out

There was going to be incoming wounded. Margaret thought to herself as she headed into

surgery that she would tell Hawkeye and ask him to keep Lynn busy while they fixed up

the Mess Hall. She would speak to him after all the work was done. If they were going to get

the party done before Lynn left they would have to have the party the next night. It was short

notice, but that is how it was sometimes here at the MASH 4077th.

This had been a bad conflict and the blood and the bodies of the destroyed young men kept

coming. So many of the young men arrived dead or too near to death for the nurses and doctors

to help them it was a terrible night. The patients were so many that they had to be kept outside

waiting for an operating table. The nurses put up a tarp, but the men were still outside with no

heat and just the blankets that they had to offer. It was a very bad night for the 4077th and the

blood was running short too. Radar kept on the radio and managed to get some blood, but

the nurses were not sure if it would be enough. So back to the orderlies for blood once again.

Only a few could still give blood, they were running dry.

Everyone at the camp worked that night until way after two am. Everyone was tired, but

Margaret saw Hawkeye by the drug cabinet and took the chance. "We would like to give

Lynn a small party tomorrow night. But we need someone to keep her busy while we decorate

the hall. Do you think that you can do that for us?" she asked.

"At your service madam. I will be glad to keep her busy, and thank you for you and your

nurses thoughts. Lynn will appreciate it I am sure." Hawkeye told her with a smile.

Lynn came over and smiled at the two of them. "It has been quite a night, but I think that

I am going to miss these nights. The people work together here so well. It is like each one of

you know what the other is thinking."

"Well, we are going to miss you and do hope that we will see you again often. this unit will

not be the same without you." Margaret told her.

Hawkeye put his arms around the woman that he truly cared for and said "You have been my

lifeline ever since you arrived here. I will be empty without you. If you do not come to us at

least once in a while, my life will be empty." and with that he kissed the top of her head once

again and they walked out of the hospital together.

The next day Margaret got up early even though she had been up until three the night before

and walked over to the mess hall. She spoke to the cook and he agreed whole heartedly to

make Lynn a cake for that evening. He would also help with the setting up of the mess hall.

He thought that Lynn was one of the best things that had happened there at the unit.

Lynn woke up at ten the next morning and was surprised to find that Margaret had already

gotten up and left. 'I must have been tired. I did not even hear her leave.' she thought to

herself. But she needed a cup of coffee and walked over to the mess. It was sad to think

that in a few days this would not be her mess and that from Monday on she would be a

visitor here not a member of the unit. She had been there just six weeks and it seemed as

though she had just arrived. Hawkeye, she really liked him, she even had thought that she

might be in love with him. She had never had the chance to think that way. All she knew

was that she was going to miss the MASH 4077th but she was really going to miss one of

its doctors Hawkeye Pierce.

As she walked into the mess tent she saw Hawkeye over in the corner talking to one of the

nurses. He was pouring himself a cup of coffee. He turned and smiled at her as she walked

on over to him. Just a ping of jealousy just a ping but she did feel it. 'Oh what kind of woman

am I becoming? Hawkeye and that nurse were just talking. He belonged to no one as she

belonged to no one also. She had no right to think anything so she put it aside.

That evening Henry gave Hawkeye full use of the office on some kind of something that

Hawkeye was going to have to come up with. He knew if the two of them both Hawkeye and

Lynn were in the office the nurses would have the time to set the mess hall up without worry

of being seen.

Hawkeye went to Lynns tent and knocked. "I am sorry to bother you but Henry wants you

to go to his office and fill out some more paperwork." Hawkeye told her.

"Oh all right. Just give me a chance to freshen up. I will be right there." Lynn told him.

Hawkeye stood outside and waited for her to come out. When Lynn came out the front

door she was pleased to see Hawkeye there waiting for her. "You don't have to wait for me

or take me to the office. I do not mind that you do, but I can fill our the papers all by myself.

But thank you for the offer." she told him with a smile.

"My dear I am going to be your shadow for this night. This is to be your last night with us

at the 4077th and I do not want to miss a minute of it. I wish that I could follow you to your new

home, but I know that I cannot and that it is best that you go back. Your work is the type of work

that very few people can do and you will save many lives." Hawkeye told her as he kissed the top

of her head like he usually did.

Hawkeye and Lynn walked into Henry Blakes office and were met by Radar. "I am sorry, the

Colonel had to leave for a short time. Here are the papers that he needs you to fill out. It has

truly been a pleasure to get to know you . I hope that we meet again soon." he told her and left

the room.

Lynn looked around the room and saw how large the room was. In the room she and

Hawkeye were in and alone. It was warm and she wanted to undress him right then and

there. Perhaps they should lock the door she thought to herself for just a second. 'What is wrong

with me? You will be leaving this camp tomorrow and the last thing you need to do is have

sex with Hawkeye Pierce. You have never needed birth control and you are not on it. You do

not need to get pregnant for sure.' Lynn sat down and looked at the documents that the Colonel

had left her to fill out. They were all forms that she was sure was not necessary for her to leave

but if the colonel says fill them out she would.

Both Hawkeye and Lynn spent the next hour filling out all of the forms and when they were

finally all filled out Lynn sat back and stretched. She was tired from the huge job of filling

everything out in triplicate and was finally done.

Hawkeye looked at Lynn and smiled. They still had half an hour before he was supposed

to bring Lynn to the mess hall, so he had to think fast. "You know it is not often in this wintry

Korea weather that a man and woman get to spend some time in a heated room. I know that

this is to be our last night together for some time, so I would like to spend that time with you

for a while if you do not mind." he told her as he reached down to kiss her very tenderly. The

kiss lasted for a few minutes and the two of them found themselves nearly gasping for breath.

Lynn wanted to stay there in the room with the man that she had fallen in love with and put

her head on his shoulders. She knew that their time was running out and that soon they would

only be able to see each other once in a while.

The two lovers stayed in the warm office for about a half an hour and then Hawkeye told

her that he thought it was time for them to leave. He did not want to have Henry find them still

in the office is what he told her.

Lynn picked up her things and started out the door with Hawkeye. Hawkeye had been

watching the people at the tent and had seen the signal that they were ready. "Lynn I was

thinking about stopping at the mess hall and getting a cup of coffee. How about you?" he asked

her.

Lynn thought for just a second and said "That sounds good to me. But I do have to get back

to my tent and pack my things. I do not want to do that but the jeep will be there for me and I

want to be ready when it comes." she told him nearly in tears.

"Well come on to the mess hall we can have a cup of coffee and enjoy one anothers company

for a few more minutes anyways." he told her.

As Lynn and Hawkeye walked into the mess hall Lynn had the surprise of her life. Without

her noticing the people of the 4077th had put a party on for her because when she came in the

lights were off and as she turned to say something to Hawkeye everyone jumped up and turned

on the lights and yelled "surprise." She was surprised. It was the nicest thing that anyone had

every done for her and she was highly honored.

Everyone came over to Lynn including Colonel Blake and offered their feelings about her.

Everyone said that they were going to miss her and she told them that she was going to miss

them. She was telling the truth for the first time in her life she had really belonged to a group

she had been part of it.

There was a wonderful cake made for her and the food was actually hot like it should be and

cold like it should be. Everyone from the unit including the man that she had saved after the

fall from his roof. He was now just in a cast and was going to be going home the next day.

His wife had made her a special meal and insisted that she take it. It was a great honor to be

treated so nicely by so many people.

That night it was almost like she was back at home. There were her friends the band and the

dancing. She danced with everyone who wanted to dance with her and was touched deeply

when Trapper John had asked her. "You have done wonders for my friend Hawkeye. He has

been stuck here longer than me and has endured much loneliness. Trust me I know all about

it and sometimes I have almost left because I want to see my wife and daughters, but he has

been my one steady friend here and you have made him very happy." he told her sincerely.

"Thank you I will be coming back when I can and perhaps Hawkeye and I will continue with

our special friendship. I truly hope so. I will miss you, too. You are a good doctor and have

been a joy to work with." she told him with a smile.

The last dance had been saved for Hawkeye. She danced close to him and he held her in his

arms. They both knew that their time together was very short. The dance ended and it was time

for Lynn to say good-bye and tell everyone thank you. She even thanked the cook for the cake

that he had baked. Surprisingly the cake had been quite good.

As the mess hall emptied and Hawkeye and Lynn found themselves alone Hawkeye turned to

her and told her that he did not want for them to part. He had thought of asking her to marry him

but he was just not ready. It had been but six weeks and he would need how they would fare

once they did not see each other everyday.

The walk back to her tent was slow and they kissed a very deep kiss, but at the end of it all

Hawkeye went to his tent and she went to hers.

The next day was one of the saddest days in the life of the lady doctor known as Lynn. She

said good-bye to everyone and gave Hawkeye a special kiss packed the jeep and was on her

way to the same hospital she had been working at when she had come to cover for another

doctor just a few weeks ago. Everyone that could came to wave her a good-bye and she was

gone. There was an empty spot in Hawkeyes heart once more.

But the MASH 4077th was to have their new surgeon that day and not fifteen minutes after

Lynn had left the chopper arrived with Major Charles Emerson Winchester III on it. He came

to the MASH 4077th with his own baggage. As entered the tent of his fellow surgeons a new

era was to begin at the MASH 4077th..


End file.
